Source: The Sangai Express / Ng Liklaileima
Imphal, Jun 23:
Despite the important roles played by the Manipuri women in society and the evolution of Manipuri society from its patriarchal set-up where fairer sex had no say in the affairs of the family to the modern lifestyle which has seen an unprecedented number of women at the forefront of every walk of life, gender discrimination in the form of preference for sons to daughters still runs deep leading to various unwanted consequences.
"My husband started taking drugs on the charge that I was unable to bear a son.
He went on to become a drug addict and ultimately contracted HIV through needle sharing," said Kamla (name changed), whose health has deteriorated beyond measures in her tryst to give birth to a boy to keep alive the honour of the family.
Narrating her experience to The Sangai Express, Kamla said, "I was just 20 of when I entered matrimonial life.
My husband belongs to a well to do family and earns a lot of money.
It was a picture perfect happy family until my husband started taking drugs after I gave birth to four daughters one after another." Kamala said her husband's attitude was normal when the first daughter was born and he treated her and the baby girl well.
But as the second child also turned out to be a girl, there was some perceptive changes in the manner of her husband toward her and the children.
Slowly the income that her husband used to bring home dwindled and he started taking drugs.
"By the time my third daughter was born, my husband started neglecting the family and did not come home most of the time.
His drug habit also increased and he got addicted to heroin," Kamla disclosed, adding that No.4 was easily available in their locality.
"My husband also contracted HIV through needle-sharing with other addicta colleagues," Kamla said.
As her husband and the mother-in-law blamed her for not giving birth to a son, Kamala said took a vow to bear the ordeal of pregnancy and labour till a boy is born without thinking about the consequences it might have on her physical health.
Kamla had in fact started developing problems of the womb after the birth of her second daughter.
When she was pregnant for the fourth time and gave birth to yet another daughter, her infuriated husband and mother-in-law abandoned her at the hospital.
Though a nurse insisted on adopting the baby herself, Kamla turned down the offer.
When the fifth pregnancy occurred, Kamla was apprehensive that the baby might be a girl again and did not even go for timely medical check up.
It was only in her seven months of pregnancy that she finally went to the doctor with the intention of aborting the child, but as she was already in advance stage of pregnancy, the doctor advised her against undergoing abortion.
When the fifth child was born, luckily it turned out to be a boy.
Kamla was so overwhelmed with emotion on giving birth to a boy at last that she suffered from haemorrhage.
Her husband and the mother-in-law also came to the hospital hearing about the birth of a boy and Kamla saw signs of happiness on their faces after such a long.
'Happy beaming faces of my husband and mother-in-law made me forget all my worries', the poor woman who looks older than her age said.
Though life seemed to have begun anew after the arrival of the only 'heir' of the family, the happiness was overshadowed by the news of her husband becoming HIV positive.
Kamla's husband came to know about his HIV status in January 2004 and stopped taking drugs after that and also stayed away from sexual contact with his wife any more.
Luckily, Kamla and none of her children are affected by the HIV virus.
'Now my husband has gave up his drug habit and received the ART facilities.
His CD4 count was only 31 earlier, but it has been increased to 380.His weight has also been improved from 40 to 60 kg', she informed.
However, this is not the end of the story, the children where discriminated by their peers at school as well as in their locality just because their father is a HIV positive.
Her eldest daughter now studying in class XII, the second daughter in class VII, the third daughter in class six , the youngest daughter in class III and the boy who is around 6 years of age has started going to school.
Inspite of her deteriorating health, Kamla continues to struggle in life, now for the sake of her children.
Noticing improvement in the health of her husband and children growing up give some solace to her and steal few moments of life from here and there to smile once in a while.