That is the Indian holocaust worse than terrorism

Margaret Gangte *

Jamia Students protesting against discrimination towards NE students on 28 October 2009 :: Pix by Ibomacha Oinam

I slept well, woke up fresh, sipped my morning tea and glanced through the posts and mails. Bright sunshine morning, quite and calm and the memories of the dark ages flashed as I read the news on the recent spate of suicide in India.

In 1991, I was living in the Indo- Burma border at the Chandel District of Manipur, the year of the well known Kuki-Naga ethnic clashes, and the two militant outfits swamped the jungles. Newly married to an Indian in the Indian Administrative Service, who is also a medical doctor, our life was insecure with threats for extortion and black mailing from the local activists and insurgents. The Naga militants appreciated the good public service and used to occasionally gift me with jungle fruits from their hideouts in the Burmese forest. I traveled the villages, forests and attended the local functions for official/ personal/ Army invitations as a spouse of the Administrator.

Still a student during the year I married, I was always mistaken as a teenager in my mid-twenties. It was a nice year overall. Fear mixed with excitement, awaiting with eagerness for a new adventure everyday. I felt proud to handle some dreaded insurgents and they listened to me as an administrator instead of an administrator's wife, the benefit of being local in such situations.

I joined service in 1993 and returned to Manipur in 1995 as Assistant commissioner in two districts on consecutive tenure, then in 1996, I returned again to Delhi on promotion in the Ministry of Finance, Department of Economic Affairs till 2005. I left Delhi under a long term course to Birmingham University, U.K along with five Indian civil servants, who were my seniors.

Returned to India in 2007 and received racial discrimination from the Department of Personal. I was rolled into various social sector ministries within a span of 4 months, and in each ministries the operator networked with his own kind like a mafia gang to target and victimize me. They accomplished their mission unopposed by the stoic senior bureaucrats who were nothing but mere silent spectators.

Again on promotion, I was given a dilapidated neglected institution like the neglected north easterners. The Secretary was an arrogant trouble maker lady in constant tussle with the Cabinet Minister, an ex-diplomat with distinguished educational background from Cambridge was quick to appreciate potential.

I became his trusted aide in policy issues. The trust reposed on me became a thorn in the eyes of the institutional leader; the lady in sadistic pleasure tortured everything around her with focus of attention on me. Her team was in painful disharmony with her who otherwise pitched unity versus me. The silly reason was the trust reposed on me by the Cabinet Minister. For this reason, the top lady delayed my assignment order by 7 months in violation of the order from her Minister boss. The end result was that the Minister used my labor on all policy issues without a placement order that affected record of my performance for my next level promotion.

The Department of Personnel in charge of my service matter was notified of this problem. The harangued department under the PM was unfortunately controlled by a maddeningly jealous psychopath in the middle level and his boss a weakling idiot dictated by his slimy foxy boss did not respond. The PM as their top boss provides security for show of arrogance and stubborn.

One year wasted in this petty game and I was placed in Defence Ministry against my choice, which by a policy allows me to choose a Ministry. This policy was formulated by me on my return from UK in 2007 and implemented by the Personnel Department only to be denied in my case later.

In the new Ministry, the output and outcome of my hard labor was not acceptable by the ones near my level. Without reason and obviously from jealousy, I was shifted away from Air force Head quarters to a far away location of Army Standing Establishment Committee, bearing no job profile or description that exists only on paper with no practical purpose. At my own discretion, I participated in the tours ranging from 10-17 trips in one month. The posting to this defunct post fit to be scrapped off was a calculated move to isolate me, disallow my potential, and to kill my spirit to ultimately drive me to commit the unwanted act of self annihilation.

Based on my past record, I received another promotion in between this harassed period, wrote articles and published my earlier writings in academic journal which could have been known to them and probably inspire them to crush me with more vigor. Mind you, the game players in Defence are all ladies who inspire their male mates like Eve leading Adam into temptation. Their deepest desire is to make me missed my next promotion.

I approached the Defence Minister and top level officials in charge of Administration to rectify the mistakes. The minister appeared to show disgust at the bureaucratic game and the top officials sensed the injustice and yet even after one year of waiting, the decision to utilize me is kept pending. With 26 vacancies available in Defence itself while the central ministries have 80 posts vacant at my level, the aspiring country for super power wasted me and wasted the money on salary payment for no job done.

The Government of India should thank that I have been brought up with values and ethics that saved them from criminal charges and imprisonment in the event of any attempt of self demolition as happened in the recent news.

As I sailed through the rut, I bear no shame in admitting the truth about my loathsome feeling towards Indian bureaucrats, self composed and self confident as they may appear are a wasteful bunch of arrogant, self conceited, selfish dumb brains that knows only to twist fortunes of others. I still am dazed how I managed life with these junks on earth.

The spate of suicides recently is caused by this kind of harassment, and my experience represents the most severe case. I stay strong; they become stronger to resist me, waiting for my final breakdown. I do not commit suicide, so they remained guiltless until the suicide proves them. That is the Indian holocaust worse than terrorism.

NOTE: "I purposely brought out my personal experience in response to the news about the suicide of Sangma girl in Delhi. The suicide is believed to be caused by victimization from racial discrimination"

Ms. Margaret Gangte is an author of Journal Articles and a writer on policy issues. The recent published journal article by GLOBAL ADVANCED RESEARCH JOURNAL OF MANAGEMENT AND BUSINESS STUDIES is titled ''From Twilight to Dawn: Set the Basics Right to Get Institution Right'' dated February, 2012. This article was written in 2008 against the backdrop of a real experience of working in a dwindled organization, and updated in 2011 to accommodate experience of Ministry of Defence.

Articles by Ms. Margaret Gangte can be accessed from this link: