Its the small things in life that matters most

Samarjit Kambam *

This is the story of a man from a particular part of India who was very brilliant and intelligent since childhood. From high school onwards, he continued his further studies by getting scholarships from the government of the state he was born and brought up. Gradually, he completed his senior secondary examination without any monetary support from his parents. He further climbed the ladder of academics and completed his graduation at top slot ranking.

Through savings from his scholarship, he gifted a nice and costly suit to his father. His father was very happy and proud of his son not only for the gift but because of his sheer hard work, intelligence, brilliance and most particularly for his ultimate and uncompromising love for his parents. In the meantime he also wanted to gift a beautiful and special saree to his mother but he was short of money.

He could have bought a common or ordinary one but he wanted to gift his mother one of the most beautiful and costliest saree available in the market as he wanted to make his mother feel special. So he tolled hard to the best of his capacity to accrue more money from his scholarship as he knew that it would take some time.

Being a brilliant and dynamic student the youngster was commissioned as an officer in the Indian Air Force after undergoing requisite trainings imparted by the IAF. He started to get regular high monthly salary and perks. All of a sudden, his mother suffered from some serious health complications and was hospitalised.

Being a terminal illness a huge sum of money was incurred from his salary as medical expenses. He watched and looked after his mother day and night, but his mother's health deteriorated progressively. Unfortunately, his mother passed away due to multiple organ failure.

He already had in possession one of the most beautiful and costliest saree available in the market which he intended to gift to his mother when she recover from her illness. But it was a pyrrhic victory for him as there was no way to hand over the gift as his mother was no more. The young person who has already become an officer of the Indian Air Force performed all the rites and religious ceremonies of her mother's death. He climbed the ladder of his career at a fast pace compared with his peers.

Now, he has become a Group Captain in the Indian Air Force. But, even as years passed by he is still stalked by regrets at his every footsteps. Sometimes he went through worse nightmares as his regrets and repentance got the better of him because after expiry of her mother there was no way of gifting her anything even if it cost the whole world to him or however financially sound he become.

He went through a lot of mental pain and turmoil. Later on he realised that cost of the gift has nothing to do with love and affection. He realised that if he had gifted a saree to his mother earlier before her illness begin to dawn even if it was a cheap and ordinary one his mother would have been more than happy as a gift in any form is priceless especially when it comes from her children.

What is important is not the gift, the paramount importance is the act that shows that a person really cares for his parents. He even dreamt of time travelling to the past to meet her mother. But it was a dream that would never materialise.

Being a part and parcel of life the person carried on with his life, had a family – a beautiful, compassionate, simple, kind-hearted and down to earth lovely wife, two sons, one a commissioned Flying Officer in the reputed Indian Air Force and the younger one presently undergoing training in the same academy. He's got everything a man requires, but like his own shadow his regrets and repentance follows him wherever he goes and flashback of his mother jolted in his mind every now and then.

It is a common thought or intention for us to help our parents or to give them material gifts, particularly a better and expensive one provided we have enough monetary resource. We want to give them costly items or gifts or equipments, we wait till we are monetarily sound to give many costly items or apparels viz, clothes, gold earrings, necklaces, enrol them in big insurance companies, maintain savings account for them at the bank, commuting together with them in fancy cars, take them to religious places, other places they want to visit and expose them at scenic places in the form of picnic or outings. But the harsh reality is that we usually run out of time to fulfil such aims while we are busy earning money.

So what matters most is not the quantity or quality of the gifts or items that we give to our parents. Parents' love for their children is the purest form of love, the love for their children is unsurmountable, firm like a mountain, a love that cannot be changed no matter what. Parents love their children even if their children become naughty, stubborn, infirmed, retarded, insane, handicapped, become a criminal, leave them, turn a blind eye to them, turn their backs towards them, forget them etc. In fact parents' love for their children is like the water of a river which never runs upward.

Life is short an unpredictable. There is no way we can procrastinate when we will die or when our parents will leave us forever. So, the best way to make our parents happy or make them feel special lies in small small things and actions such as giving them some of our time everyday if you stay at home however hectic your schedule is, to ring up to them everyday if you stay far away from home, to discuss and exchange words with them and find out their aims and wants in every possible way, have a cup of tea or snacks together with them everyday, listen to their advices, respect their wishes and hopes even if we can't fulfil them, take them out for sightseeing, making it a regular routine to take them to the park or garden, to the market and give them the privilege to choose the vegetables or other items of their choice, buying small and affordable gifts for them, take them to religious places at least once in a month if they are not atheist, prepare them their favourite dishes with our own hands at least once a week(it doesn't matter whether you are a good cook or not), wish them a 'goodnight' when they go to bed.

Our small gestures of respect, thanks, showing our affection and love in simple ways goes a long way in giving them satisfaction thereby giving meaning to their lives as well as ours. Love and affection of your parents cannot be earned in a single day even if you are a multi-billionaire. In fact, it's the small things in life that matters most for a healthy, love and affection filled relationship with our parents.