I am not born to fulfill my parent's unfulfilled dreams
Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam *
"Mom! After my class 12 exams I want to pursue my singing career," a teen said to his Dad. "Are you trying to end your life like this?" Dad told him. And the kid was left with 'No Answer.'
"What do you want to become in life?" your neighbour asked you. "Photographer," you replied with a smile. "Do you know your cousin? He did that photography course for 5 years. What is he doing now? Nothing," your neighbour gave you a full stop.
"Dad I want to be a writer," I told my Dad, he burst out laughing. "Are you going with a Moreh bag, a cycle, a pen, a dairy and sit under every tree you find, earning nothing, acting like you are in a non-stop deep thought?" he laughed at my face.
In life, at some point we followed our dreams but easily stopped by some external voices. Do you know why? Why do you give up your dream? You forgot to ask them something back. Mom, why will I end my life? If my cousin can't then why do you think I also can't? Dad, why I will earn nothing?
Ask this right on their face. 100% of them will not have answers for this. They are the ones who don't trust you; they are the ones who think you are just the same like others.
You know what? To all my readers, if you had this experience, get up and ask those persons who stopped you, "Why can't I do it? The moment you ask this, the reaction they give, that blank face will make you realize that you will be unstoppable from now on.
Soon after you start following your dream, many will stand behind you and whisper you poisons. "Son, what will you do by becoming a dancer? You see your cousins; they will be doctor, engineer, scientist soon and you? What? Earn money by shaking your body? You are in wrong path," you parents or near and dear ones will keep stopping you.
You know what? Go up to your parents and tell them, "Have you gone to the path that I am going now? If not, then how can you say I am in the wrong path?" The moment you tell them this sentence, their mind will surely change.
And if they say that, "But son, you will no longer be good like them," tell them, "Dad, if you want me to be good like them, then I will obey you but if you want me to be better than them then, help me follow my heart."
If you are born to just survive then it's okay to follow the crowd but if you are very much interested in living your life then you are supposed to follow your heart. There is a gift in each of your hearts which sooner or later needed to be extracted and fulfill your dream with your gift.
To all the parents, did you have a dream when you were small? Like; you want to be a Rock-star, a dancer, a writer, an actor, a film maker and so on, but now what? You end up becoming a teacher, a doctor, an engineer or whatever which you never even thought of.
Why? Because you were scared to tell the world what your gift was, because you were scared to tell your parents what you want to be, because you thought people might laugh at you. Now, you have your son and daughter, trust me they also have a dream, they have a huge aim, help them, don't be their obstacle. They are a life, now go up to them and ask, "Son, what do you want to do? What is your dream?"
Dear parents, you don't create your son's or daughter's life just because they came through you. They are an individual. You are not their boss, you are just a parent. Don't try to push them or use them to fulfill your unfinished dreams.
Do you know that when we have a problem in our life, we want to go and talk to a friend not to a Boss? If you want your children to come up to you to share their problems, then be their friend not their boss.
And to be their friend, you can't just get that friendship just because you give birth to them; you need to earn the friendship. Stop killing your children's dreams.
* Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer is based in Canada. He can be reached at birkarnelzelzitthiyam3073(AT)gmail(DOT)com ; Facebook – Birkarnelzelzit – Young Thoughts; Twitter – Birkarnelzelzit, INSTAGRAM – Birkarnal
This article was posted on April 22, 2017.
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