10 ways to become an emotionally competent person

Dr Vijita Ningombam *

Emotion is a state of arousal accompanied by changes in facial expression, gesture, posture and the subjective feeling which generally is a reaction to any stimulus from the environment. It comes naturally but there are times when we so badly want to control it.

So, can a person deactivate emotions? Well, you will become a zombie if you do that. But what you can do is to manipulate it and become an emotionally competent person. How can you do that?

RECOGNISE PATTERNS - All emotions should be distinctly seen in you and you have to be aware of the patterns of every expression that happens to you. You need to know what kind of expressions you make and when does it exactly appear.

REFINE your emotion - Express your emotions in a socially desirable way. Try smiling whenever and where ever you can, that helps!

CHECK YOUR EMOTIONAL TIDE- Learn to hide your feelings. Avoid sudden inappropriate outburst of emotions. Try thinking of good memories that happened to you Or just do the the breathing exercise.

DO NOT BE A DAYDREAMER- Perceive everything in their real perspective and do not possess the desire to run away from reality. Remember every problem or situation has a solution.

LET INTELLECT BE YOUR GUIDE- Do not let emotions guide you. Your intellectual power of thinking and reasoning should guide you. Try being rational always.

BE HONEST IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR- Do not argue in defence of any undesired or improper conduct or shift the responsibility of your mistakes on others. It's okay to blame yourself when you go wrong, just tell yourself not to do it again and make sure of it.

SELF RESPECT- Form your self concept and respect yourself first. That will automatically help you to behave in a way in which you will never do things or express in a way that will injure your self respect or your ideals.

DO NOT BE ANTISOCIAL - This will help you to be keen in improving your behaviour to maintain good social relationships. Hence express in the best way that is socially acceptable.

THE RIGHT PLACE AND THE RIGHT TIME - If there is a danger to your self prestige - you are allowed to get angry. If you love someone - you are allowed to show love. Just remember to exercise it at the right time and right place but also remember that too much of anything is not good for health!

JUST BE MATURED - Any person who is matured does not shift too fast from one emotion to another. This doesn't count being moody because that is the mildness form of any emotion and can be easily controlled.

Finally, just be yourself because life eventually teaches you to be matured so just let life happen and the person that you are will happen to you!