10 Ways To Start Taking Control of Yourself
Rajendra Sagolsem *
Many of us with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) tend to develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and we
frequently nurture feelings of being let down. This negative outlook makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and to move forward.
So people with ADD should practice positive thinking. This will allow us to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and
level of motivation. This, in turn, will allow us to spend more time in making progress, and less time in feeling down and stuck.
The following are 10 tips that will provide practical suggestions. You may use them to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns.
1. Take Good Care Of Yourself
It's much easier to think positive when you are eating well, sleeping well and feeling well. Simple but regular exercises like walking, jogging,
skipping, etc. will definitely help you feel well.
2. Remind Yourself Of The Things You Are Grateful For
Challenges and the resulting stresses don't seem quite bad when you constantly remind yourself of the things and events that are right in life.
Take a few moments everyday to think about those things and events for which you are grateful and appreciate them. Appreciating the good things will
make a huge difference in our life.
3. Look For Proof Instead Of Making Assumptions
Many of us tend to assume rather than find out the reality. For example, a fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we
know what others are thinking. But our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something
you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, then speak up and ask them. Don't waste your time worrying
that you did something wrong. You require a solid proof for anything to worry about.
4. Refrain From Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and
'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is. It programs your mind into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Don’t allow your thoughts to control you. You should control your thoughts. Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you
notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it and don't follow it.
6. Squash The "ANTs"
Some thoughts are negative and they are automatic. Dr. Daniel Amen talks about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs). According to him, these are the
bad thoughts that are usually the reactions to what others say or do. For example, "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The
boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" If you notice these thoughts are coming to you, then try to realize that they are nothing more than ANTs. Crush them!
7. Practice Loving And Touching
Loving and touching people will help you develop positive attitude. You don't have to be a psychologist to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive
physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress who touched
some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their bills. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!
8. Increase Your Social Activities
Negative thoughts tend to invade the lonely people. Maximize your social activities and minimize your chances of being lonely. Surround yourself with
healthy, happy people, and let their positive energy affect you in a positive way!
9. Volunteer For An Organization Or Help Another Person
Everyone feels good after helping someone or some organization. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy
you give out to the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use Pattern Interrupts To Combat Rumination
Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's neither rational nor solution-oriented. It's just an excessive
worry. If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely
different. Try changing your physical environment. Go for a walk or sit outside. You can also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.
* Rajendra Sagolsem (Director, SAFE Group of Instirutions, Bangalore) writes to e-pao.net regularly
The writer is a counselor, motivator and educational advisor serving at present as a Director in the SAFE Group of Institutions, Bangalore. He has writtern many eBooks on motivation and counseling.
You can visit the writer's blog here or email at razensag(at)gmail(dot)com
This article was webcasted on November 04, 2010.
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