The guy in the waiting list

Samarjit Kambam *

There are many types of people on planet earth. There are persons who perspire relentlessly with their heart and soul but never achieve the desired result. Then, there are bland and insipid persons favoured by lady luck and easily climb their way to fame and success.

There are gluttonous persons who eat a lot but always remain thin, just like me and there are many others who eat like a sparrow but are disproportionately fat with their bellies and buttocks protruding as if they are about to burst out from their clothing.

I have come across handsome guys who are always rejected by their female counterparts. I also have come across horribly ugly guys but are in great demand by their female peers. The world seems to get very bizarre sometimes.

Just the other day, I stumbled across this guy who is my junior but is one of my best friends. We use to meet frequently. As far as I know, he is a hard-working type. He was taking part in every service exams as a candidate be it MCS, MPS, IFS and other high level exams. After appearing such exams, he would exuberantly say that he will pass with flying colours mentioning that his performances in the ibid exams were quite satisfactory.

However, lady luck doesn't seem to favour him much. He did not fail in the exams he appeared yet his name came up among the "Waiting List". He then tried for mediocre level exams such as post of Bank PO, TGTs, PGTs, Accounts Assistant, Assistant Manager, viz a viz. That time also, he did not fail when the results of the exams were declared.

The irony is that he never found his name neither among the list of passed ones nor failed ones also but his name would always crop up among the Waiting List. His ambition, as usual, always remains high, however things did not turn up the way he expected.

Desperate, he even tried for low level service exams such as Primary Teacher, LDC, Airmen, Constables of paramilitary and army and many other lower level jobs even upto the extent of Grade-IV of public sector, autonomous bodies and quasi government ones. However, when exam results were declared he did not fail but his name was, as usual, always there among the Waiting List.

One not so fine day he met me and we had a small chit-chat. He told me that he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I asked him the reason why. His answers were quite pitiable. He replied that he expected to clear the most recent exam which he appeared.

But his name was again segregated among the Waiting List. He told me that he has been in the Waiting List for more than 15 times. Further, he told me that it was kinda mental torture for him to keep on waiting and waiting without knowing a concrete and palpable outcome.

He expressed that he felt like waiting to see the dark side of the moon. I also have noticed and acknowledged the predicament he was in. And I knew he was telling me the truth. Sometimes he expressed that God may be testing him. But as the number of Waiting List on his part keeps on increasing, he began to lose his faith in God.

He told me that if God has been testing him, he has been tested inside-out and has exceeded the threshold of being tested. He told me that it's better to fail rather than to be among the Waiting List as his mind is stuffed with tension, anxiety and stress at the ever losing hope of being lifted up from the Waiting List.

Even if some incumbents happened to get lifted up from the Waiting List, his name would be left behind by a margin with his name topping the list of the second Waiting List. And, then what? He would wait for his name to be lifted but it would turn out to be a wait for an eternity. True, such status quo will definitely one give whole lotta mental torture.

He wanted a clear and precise result of "Pass" or "Fail" as being among the Waiting List leaves him in a state of uncertainty for days. Sometimes he used to ask to himself, "Why do I always end up like this? What is my fault?"

Easy questions, difficult answers. To encourage and pacify him, I told him that I have never passed in any such exams not to mention being among the Waiting List and further told him that he will definitely make it someday or the other if he never stops working hard, as though I am a hard worker.

I even brought out to him the popular proverbial saying, "Failures are the stepping stones to success". He replied that his is not a case of failure and that there is no proverb with the words "Waiting List". The mills inside my brain were running fast as I was trying to invent a proverb, however, I could not come up with any suitable or substantial one to encourage him.

So I finally came up with a modified one expressing to him as "Being in the Waiting List is the BIGGER stepping stone to success". I knew he was not convinced by my perverse made-up words. In fact, he did not buy my words. When I told him that God must really be testing him as he had said, he replied that he had had enough as occurrence of his name among the Waiting List has climbed way too high in his Waiting List chart.

He seemed so rejected and demoralised. I wanted to motivate him and shower him with words of inspiration but I did not know how to. To cheer him up and to brighten up the somber atmosphere, I told him if he has ever heard of the qualification called MFias? He replied "No". I told him that it's called "Master in Fiascology" and that I am the living sample of a Fiasco Master.

I fail in whatever that I do. Hallelujah! But he was still clouded in gloom. I was not able to break the cocoon of gloominess surrounding him as I am not so good in cracking jokes. As our conversation almost came to a close, he asked me whether God will keep him in the Waiting List of death also.

I was stunned and flabbergasted at his question and fumbled for words. But no words came out from my mouth. I don't even know whether God really exists or not, whether God is made up of 'anti-matter' or 'matter'. Only that I have seen hundreds of Gods in the form of lifeless deities.

And if there is a God, who made God? Course I have seen photographs and videos of Gods of Men such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa. I was left with no answer to his question. Does this "Waiting List" issue apply to some of you? If it does, then I am sorry for there's nothing I can do.