Source: The Sangai Express / Ng Liklaileima
Imphal, January 14:
It is very common to hear in Manipuri society that problem of a family should remain within the family itself and why it should be exposed for the preying eyes.
Because of this mindset, we generally presumed that the incidence of crime and violence against women in Manipuri society is very less.
But beneath this seemingly tranquil surface, the water runs deep inside with greater current.
The case study of Radha (not her real name) shows how far such victims of domestic violence and crime suffered in Manipur society, physically and psychologically, leaving them at the brink of insanity.
Radha got married to Biren (not his real name) in 1998 while she was not yet out of school.
Though her parents initially objected to her elopement before even appearing the final examination of class XII, they, nonetheless married her to the man of her choice.
Even if her parents are not rich and they could not afford luxury items, they ensured that all the essential dowry items were provided.
But as she had come to their house without any of those luxury items, her in-laws looked on her with scorn and started ill-treating her right from the next day of the marriage.
From the insinuating remarks made by her in-laws specially mother-in-law and sister-in-laws, Radha could feel the tension in the family.
But she kept quite just for the sake her loving husband.
However, it was not long her husband who has no fix source of income of his own and for whom Radha had given up everything too started listening to the nagging complaints of his mother and sister who have been all along insisting to marry another girl who would bring more dowry.
Radha started witnessing a perceptible change in the nature of her husband who started looking for any given occasion to pick up fight with her.
Even after the birth of their first child, a boy, there was no change on the nature of Biren who started coming home late and even brought home two girls.
Unable to bear with the mental harassment, Radha though of going back to her parental home.
But there her own parents and other family members advised that she being a married woman now should return to her husband.
This is the dharma of a married woman, they said.
On day in July of 2002, Biren was preparing himself for going out on his usual sex escapades, when he asked for some money.
When Radha replied that she do not have any more money and wanted to know where he was going, Biren went wild and kicked Radha on her back.
He also flung a wooden lantern stand which hit on her chest and she passed out.
When she regain her consciousness, she was laying on the hospital with some neighbours attending her and with no sight of her husband or any of the in-law family members.
Any attempt made by Radha to dissuade her husband from getting involved with other women was scorned by her in-laws maintaining that polygamy is not something that only Biren practised.
After Biren brought home another woman in the family, Radha and her child were made to stay in a shabby outhouse and maintain separate kitchen.
After more than eight years of marriage and suffering untold miseries and mental tension, Radha finally decided to leave her husband when her son attained around 7 years of age in December 2005.
Even if Radha was determined to fight for her rights, she did not know where to go for help and his parents and other elder members of the family did not support her to fight for her rights in a law court maintaining that they do not have the required money.
It is really unfortunate that instead of understanding my problem, even my parents thought that I might have done something wrong.
An organisation for women based at Imphal had taken Rs 3000 from Radha for fighting her case.
But the case had never been processed in any law court nor the money refunded to her.
After all this ordeals, Radha fortuitously met a member of the Women Action Development (WAD) and the organisation extended every possible assistance in fighting the case of Radha in the Family Court.
In the meantime, with the help of WAD, Radha also took up various odd jobs like preparing Hentak, Thoiding Past, Hawaijar, Heikru Achar, Agarbati making, etc to earn income for meeting the required expenditure for fighting the case and bringing up her son.
She won the case and the Family Court ordered her husband for providing maintenance to Radha and since February 2007.