Why I Choose to Keep Religion Away

By Milly Thangjam *

A few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that my son doesn't have a religion, official or otherwise. Religion has had no remote importance in our lives that we had just forgotten about it. Ever since my son made his appearance in this world some years ago, it had simply slipped our minds that he should have some kind of religion.

As a result, he has never been inside a place of worship, nor has he attended any religious ceremony or festival, not even at his birth. We live in a very non-religious place, but still we get many invitations and phone calls to attend or join religious congregations, from churches to Buddhist prayer groups, but we politely refuse them all. I have the remotest interest in any of them.

I grew up in a family where religion and god were relegated to the background. We did the usual evening lai-thangmei thanba to Sanamahi, Leimarel, and the window god and door god, but they were tasks to be completed just like finishing our dinner. It had very little to do with devotion.

The only times religion and god entered our lives were when there was a wedding or a funeral or the birth of a child. Hinduism, I am glad to say, has had little to no impact in my life.

The only time I was exposed to it was when out of curiosity, I watched the neighborhood durga being brought out. But I was not awed, rather, I was terrified of the idea of a god/goddess mercilessly spearing the poor man at her feet.

When doordharshan was busy airing the Mahabharat series for years, I didn't have the inclination or the time to watch it, besides, I didn't understand 90% of what was being said, so I luckily escaped it. I have never been much of a TV person, the only use for TV I saw in my teen years and early 20s was to use it to play video games.

I went through the usual religious experimentation phase most people would have experienced. For a time, I was drawn to Buddhism and Santeria, but they dissipated as quickly as they appeared. So I got used to checking my religion as "none" , which I have been doing for more than ten years now.

For some years now, I have been drawn to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, well, one can't call it a religion, for it's more of a parody. Others may find blasphemy or atheism more suitable. But I love the way Bobby Henderson's, its creator, argues about how God has to be a carbohydrate being as we ourselves are all made of macromolecules.

Besides, I love the ten condiments, and the way the entire concept of Pastafarianism makes all other world religions so ridiculous and illogical.

The truth is, I don't call myself an atheist, I don't call myself any of those terms that are constantly coming up to describe one's religious or spiritual views. For example, I don't call myself a religious humanist. Humanist is fine, but not religious humanist.

I can't call myself spiritual but not religious either. I don't like the idea of 'religious tolerance". Tolerance is a very hypocritical and dirty word, one tolerates only things one doesn't like.

I especially dislike two common denominators in all religions. One is the way all religions come up with their explanations of why god has to cruel and angry. All major religions thrive on images or words of angry, vengeful gods created to govern people on a fear-psychosis .

Punishment in an after life, burning eternally in hell sound so sadistic to me, and I don't want to think of god as a sadist, if ever there is a god. Besides, the countless so called philosophical explanations put forth by various religions supporting why their gods have to be both good and bad are just ridiculous. There are enough complications in this world, we don't need gods and their ideas to make it more complicated.

The second denominator is how religions argue they are needed to keep order in this world, that human beings cannot be trusted to keep order in their own lives and in the society without them.

I often find it funny, when a kid from a religious background go on a shooting spree and people wonder how it happened considering that he's from such a religious and devout background. But when a kid from a non-religious background do the same, many blame it on the lack of religion.

Many are of the belief that religion teaches children and adults alike about discipline, socialization skills, altruism, conscience and many other similar things. I feel, the same can be learned from a whole lot of different ways, not just from religion.

Doing community work teaches a lot more, like say volunteering in a homeless project. I feel kids can learn a lot more good from participating in neighborhood clean ups, like picking up trash at the beaches or elsewhere.

They can very well learn more about discipline at a karate school, than at a religious congregation. Besides, they learn the same valuable lessons about co-operation, helping others, inter and intra personal problem solving skills in their daily lives sans religion.

When my son grows up and comes of age, he can decide for himself whether he wants to follow a particular religion or stay without one; until then, I will do my best to keep religions away from his life. But I hope he will have the common sense to stay without one.

I think it's important for him to know why I feel religion has more bad than good. I don't want him to be a leader when he grows up, but more importantly, I don't want him to be a follower.

I want him to have his own mind, not follow crowds or popular opinions mindlessly like sheep, I don't want him to feel he has to belong to a particular group. I want him to be independent, stubborn, if necessary.