In the abscence of social acceptance of love-birds being seen together before marriage, social gatherings like Lai-Haraoba, Yaoshang, and leikai Leela-Drama were the occasions for blooming courtship.
Once my aunt confessed to me how naughty she had been when she was in love with her now-husband. She had taken the permission to sleep in her eta's house, as their family needed help in the lou-yeiba, and there she was, with her then-boyfriend under a tree, chatting away in the darkness of the night!
Our society has been nice to love-birds so far. The tradition of eloping give enormous power to couples who want to chose their own life-partners.
For others who would marry only with their parent's concent, life has been kind to them, too. However, the only chance and opportunity they get to find and marry a decent guy is to impress the groom-to-be's parents first.
For that, she has to be a good girl at home; keep the house tidy, feel at ease in attending to the paddy field, be a good cook, etc., etc.
I had been told that, a guest or visitor can understand how homely a maiden is by observing the state of her shumang, mangol, shangoi, and the leirung in the kitchen.
Making an impression to her relatives near and far and also to their neighbours helped in finding the perfect suitor for her; a typical case of mouth-to-mouth marital advertisement.
If a girl maintains her home by moping everyday with mud and cow-dung, she was considered to be preparing herself for her responsibilities as a wife in the future.
In addition, if she looms yongham in her shangoi, she was considered to be talented and as an important contributor towards the family's income.
This credential increases the chances of a woman getting a good suitor. Allied skills such as knitting, yarning, weeding or farming, etc. came as handy assets.
Parents of suitors who are pleased with the character of the girl, go further to check as how many hay bales have been piled at the entrance of their house.
Such are markers which apparently reveals the propotion of acres of land the family posseses, thereby a sign of wealth.
Many of these sound amusing to us now.
Eshanou contributes to e-pao.net regularly . This article was webcasted on January 11th, 2007.
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