Reconciling Differences
Bienhome Muivah *
Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Matthew 5: 9).
Sonship is evidenced by peacemaking. As we work and live close together, there is an opportunity for differences. To reconcile our differences, there are some basic attitudes we must possess:
1. Humility. It is easy to identify the speck in another person's eye, but it is hard for a proud person to see the log in his/her own eye. 1 Peter 5: 5 says, "Be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble".
2. Self-Control. The wrath of man cannot produce the righteousness of God. To reconcile your differences you must be able to calmly discuss the issues and the facts, share your heart and be a good listener.
3. Repentance. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". We must repent of our sins towards God and also be willing to repent of our sins toward God and also be willing to repent to others for sins we have committed against them.
4. Faith. Never lose faith that a difference can be reconciled. God could have looked at the human race and said, Irreconcilable, "but He never lost sight of His original Vision to have a relationship and fellowship with man.
5. Honesty. Differences can be settled where people are willing to speak the truth in love, put all the facts on the table and allow the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to settle it. Paul said, we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). When you are in the relationship and something isn't right, go to the person in an attitude of love and speak the truth, because the relationship degenerates when things aren't the way they should be. Speaking the truth in love will usually clear up misunderstandings.
This is the hard part for many people in relationships, because we have the attitude that we don't want to confront and don't want clashes. We like to be at peace with all people, but if something isn't the way it should be, if we keep ignoring it, it will never get better. It is better to talk it out in a spirit of love at an early stage in a relationship rather than let volcanic pressure mount to an explosion stage!
If we want to have a Quality relationships, we must be responsive to reproof and correction (Proverbs 15: 31-33)
Proverbs 27:6 said, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend".
A faithful will speak the truth to you. We all need constructive criticism, reproof, or correction from the members of our congregation, friends, brothers etc.
Instead of being defensive, let's pray that God will give us the insight to be responsive and analyze the input from their point of view".
It's like the old saying about walking in another person's moccasins before making a judgment. Be open and willing to receive rebuke and correction.
Pride will keep you from receiving reproof and correction. When we are proud and think we've arrived, we can't receive correction from anyone. Then relationships stagnate.
They can go no further when there is a breakdown or a difference and it is not resolved. God wants us to be able to remove the hurdles and obstacles out of relationships so they can grow stronger, richer and better.
If you had a relationship with a loved one that was broken years ago and it has never been reconciled, humble yourself and call or write the person, asking their forgiveness. Open yourself up for correction, and allow them to share what is happening in their life. You may have to take some very bitter words, but as it comes out there can be a miracle of healing and restoration in that relationship.
6. Love. To reconcile differences, there must be compassion for other person. Your motive must be to restore rather than to punish. Ephesians 4: 1-3 says, "With all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love. Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace".
So frens, now is the time to reconcile differences and build Quality relationships. It will take time and effort, but the reward will be worth it. You have much to give and much to gain. Don't allow past failures in relationships stops you from building new ones. God did not call you to be an island, but He called you to be a part of His Body.
Be a Peace Maker!
* Bienhome Muivah wrote this article for Hueiyen Lanpao
The writer is at BD, Evangelist, MBC Centre Church Imphal
This article was posted on February 07, 2013
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