Online Cupid
Bijenti Irengbam *
Food and love have so much in common. We have huge appetites for both. We can’t live without them. Dating in the 21st century is a daunting task. Most people are hit with information from all sides. Dating sites are unfair to both men and women.
When online dating began, there were 50 or more men to every 1 woman on the Internet–we’ll find there are just 4 different types of men who frequent these sites: Widowers, Divorcees, Singles & Married guys who say they are Widowers, Divorcees & Single !
While the percentage has evened out over the years, men initiate the most contact leaving women pages of emails to read and reply. With more than 40 million singles dating online in the United States alone, dating has become more than a hobby to many. While it may be easy to fill your date card, finding your one in 40 million is a huge challenge for most.
We’re presented with increasingly more technology that allows us to avoid direct human connection. We can sit home with our iPhones and iPads and iPods and computers and Bluetooth 3-D digital TVs and Google glass. And we never have to see, talk to, or touch another human being. That saddens us.
Because as nifty as all that technology can be, what is more important than direct, personal human connection—especially in the world of dating and romance ? Facebook is just another place where one can build/find/bolster self-esteem … or have it knocked down, looking for love, lust or attention when one logs-on or hears their cell phone ping an update of a new message left on their wall.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as one of the most vital ingredients for existence. Love nourishes our souls and arouses our deepest desires. And yet, for many people, it’s the hardest thing to find. Even harder still is sustaining that love once you’ve found it.
When it comes to making love last, the reality is pretty unsettling. Right now, 50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second marriages, and 74 percent of third marriages end in divorce. But however grim the statistics, there is hope for keeping love alive. A new paradigm is on the horizon, one that has the power to shift your focus from all that seems wrong to all that is right.
The fact is our culture has conditioned us to expect perfection from ourselves and others, and this expectation often leads us into a perpetual state of frustration and dissatisfaction. The human mind can be a fault-finding machine uniquely equipped to focus with laserlike precision on the few things that are lacking, rather than on the bigger picture of all that we have in abundance.
It's a sad but true fact that in our modern age the faster you can get on and stay on, however you get on, the better your chances of staying in touch or getting in touch with that new partner or that potential date you have been spying, courting or sending naughty pics to.
To compete in the marketplace of individual fulfillment we need speed, options, and the facility for both at our fingertips with the best, brightest and newest tools available. If, like so many, you’ve lost sight of the forest of your deeper love for your partner through the trees of his or her imperfections.
Wabi Sabi : Based on the ancient Japanese aesthetic of finding beauty in imperfection, Wabi Sabi Love applies this concept to love relationships. It is the art of loving your partner’s imperfections rather than indulging in the fantasy that your relationship can fire on all cylinders only when both people are acting perfectly and behaving in ways that are acceptable to the other.
Wabi Sabi helps to illuminate the hidden beauty in life that has an immediate and profound impact. “Wabi” means “rustic simplicity” or “understated elegance” with an emphasis on a less-is-more way of thinking. “Sabi” is interpreted as “finding joy in the imperfect.”
Wabi-Sabi’s meaning is vast and almost difficult to distill in a single sentence, but it can be easily applied to situations in daily life. Some stories end in happiness, others will end in pain. But a love story is a love story, and we should feel no shame.
Your success is in the experience and what it has birthed in you and from you. Not the length of it, or its value compared to another. As we are perfectly imperfect, that is. For all the positives in our lives, we will always have negatives, too. It’s a delicate balancing act.
Some historians believe that Valentine’s Day was also associated with the ancient Roman goddess Juno Februata. Juno Februata was associated with love and marriage, and it is believed that the month of February was named after her.
Valentine’s Day may also have been linked to the ancient Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia. The ancient origins of Valentine’s Day are still debated. However, it is likely that the holiday was originally based on a combination of pagan and Christian beliefs and traditions.
* Bijenti Irengbam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
This article was webcasted on February 20 2023.
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