Love ends when marriage begins. Sounds contradictory? Like which comes first, the chicken or the egg? What about for those marriages through engagement and not love marriages? For them, does not love begin when marriage begins?

The answer is not easy. But then, let me try to explain it from my view-point. Falling in love is easy. Love comes like a stranger knocking at the heart. There is no time or place. It can happen inside a crowded Thoubal bus where you see a beautiful girl clinging on the railing. Your eyes meet and ‘twang’ the cupid’s arrow hits you where it hurts the most. You exchange glances and she gives you a coy smile. Without speaking, with you clinging on the railing, hanging on your life, with a heavy bag over your shoulders, your eyes talk. How you wish you had thrown the bag out of the window and run across to her and massage her supple aching arm.

Next time you go through elaborate plans involving three four trips to Thoubal on the hope that you might meet her again and all of a sudden, taking pity on you, heavens answered your prayers. Or maybe, by sheer coincidence or good luck, you happen to cross ways at the Gambhir Singh Shopping Complex. Well! Whatever it is, you met her and then the love story blossom like the lotus- serene and peaceful.

You discover that life is BEAUTIFUL. After numerous dating that burns holes in your pockets, SMS which have given your thumb goose bumps and maybe quarrel and fights that results in many forgive and forget, finally you decide to settle down for life. That is when real life begins and life may be no more beautiful. Like the frog in the well.

With marriage comes great responsibility. With responsibilities, come headaches. With headaches, more tensions making the relationship more fragile. If not handle with care, life may get shattered. That is the litmus test of life. That is when you discover some marriages are made in heaven and some marriages bring hell to life.

The challenge before us is how to make the marriage work. How to bring back love into our lives again? Is that so simple? I guess not. We discover that life is no more pop-corns or dating or sharing a plate of macaroni at the Talk of the Town restaurant. With couple life, life becomes a triple busy. We need to earn, look after the children, and look after home even brothers, sisters and parents. Sometimes, we discover that it is hard to please everybody including our partners. But when the going gets tough and you are not tough enough to get going, you discover your relationship has gone awry.

I believe that this is when extra-marital life begins when you want to seek fun and love back into your life. You enter the house and you are hounded by your partner on some flimsy excuses or you family members torment you to such an extent that you do not know whether to jump into the septic tank or drink gallons of kerosene. Or you want to wring and mangle that supple aching arm which you had once wished to massage. At this stage, you either keep on bearing or face all the ill-winds (from the mouth of your partner) or decide to look for a greener pasture.

You want to reach out to somebody who can understand your feelings and bring back sunshine to your life. Maybe, again like the encounter inside the Thoubal bus you again meet someone. You fall in love all over again. Unfortunately, you cannot hold hands out in the open. Even while you may date and meet the mistress, you do not forget that there is a Mrs in your life too. Life can be more beautiful if the mistress knows that you have a Mrs in your life. Problems only crop up when the mistress one fine day discover you along with your Mrs in the market place and demand to know who the hell she was. Or the other way round. When the Mrs finds out that you secretly meet a mistress without her knowledge. And life can be very beautiful and sparkling if both the Mrs and mistress understand each other and decide to live under one roof as sisters!

But you need to be big hearted and broad-minded to have double or more partners. You had once thought that one partner is enough and now you end up with two. God’s ways are mysterious. You may even think of taking a chance with a third one if the former two does not again fit in your life.

Whatever it is, divorce or separation from partner is not everyone’s wish when they tie the knot. It happens just like that. Maybe, they found out later that all those sugary words they exchanges during their love life do not make life sweeter after marriage. It is best that couples understand each other that the marriage is not going to work. If the marriage is not going to work, then there is no point in sticking to it. Rather, they should part happily and savour the good memories.

I am reminded of a friend who was married to a girl whom he never knew. His parents had asked to tie the knot as the girl belongs to a family friend. As he was not willing to break his parents’ heart, he vowed before the pulpit. Within ten days, the woman realized that her husband do not love her and have no feelings for her. She talked with him and he frankly told her of the circumstances which brought them together. They parted ways and the woman returned home. He later found love and he married his one and only love. He still meets his former and now they are friends. The woman, though, still remains unmarried waiting for her knight to come thundering on a horse and pick her up from the demons of life.

So the question is does love ends when marriage begins? Well, not necessary if you can handle the responsibilities. Or you can juggle your life by being responsible to your partner and your secret partner. If that is the case, keep them both happy. There is no more blessing than keeping people around you happy and gay.