Nurture family relationship
Bienhome Muivah *
You may be surprised to know that even your messy, needy, or annoying family members could help you live longer. That is, if you put in the effort to build nurturing relationships so they remain positive influences in your life.
Supportive relationships, especially supportive family relationships, became extremely valuable as we age, while negative family relationships can be detrimental to health. The 2006 book when I am 64 explains, "Older parents grow more satisfied with their relationships with their children, who have become adults … and the quality of relationships with adult children, is strongly associated with parents well-being … and couples than their younger counterparts … and couples (ages 73-93) in a longitudinal study report increasing closeness overtime."
Spending time with one's family has become more of a challenge than ever before. The norm is now multigenerational families and even to some degree blended families (where one or both spouses have been married before and bring children to the new relationship). The families do not fit the old fashioned "Ozzie and Harried" model. In addition, due to our modern-day mobility, most families actually do not live in the same geographical area, but they can overcome this as needed with the help of modern travel and communication options.
In any case, it is critically important to resolve parent-adult child conflict before grandchildren are born. Research shows that if this conflict exists it may subsequently affect both contact and relationship quality between grandparent and future grandchildren.
Grand parenting has also changed its image and now encompasses people from their 40 plus up to age 100. More and more seniors are living long and fulfilling lives, seeing their great-great-grandchildren appear on the family scene, bringing the wonderful promise of family triumph and survival. In fact, later life family relationships have emerged as a whole new field of study termed "Family Gerontology". We all have more relatives to deal with for an extended period of time than ever before, so we have better learn the secret of nurturing family relationships.
The fact that we have become more busy, and on the move always enhance the richness of blending other cultures and races into our family units.
A family we know has had the honor and challenge of blending several races and many different geographical backgrounds into their wonderful mix called family. People often ask how they adjusted to the changes. The answer is: Be willing to change, change how you think; change preconceived ideas; change non-biblical belief about right and wrong; change nations about what will make people in your family happy and content; and be willing to change long-held but inaccurate views about what you believe the Bible teaches about a variety of things.
The difference between aging and getting old, wrote Frederic Hudson, is 'managing life changes' so we can be optimally alive, active, and engaged. Change can be refreshing and freeing and makes for happy, vibrant families where all are learners and all have a "Kin keeping" mission.
Families who are determined to stay close and connected make frequent visits a priority and will commit to spending time and money to make them happen. Celebrating family traditions, transitions, and holidays is vitally important. Weddings, birthdays, funerals, and graduations are high on the priority list. Taking fun trips together cements the generations and give everyone opportunities to change some more!
Sibling becomes more and more important as we age. Researcher have found that relationships with sibling can contribute to life satisfaction, higher morale, fewer depressive symptoms, psychological well-being, and a greater sense of emotional security in old age. True, if siblings had "rivalries" early in life, these often continue or may resurface later in life.
But this can provide the powerful opportunity to journey back to friendship and provide years of fulfillment as well as valuable role model to the extended family. Experts have ranked sibling relationships as: intimate, congenial, loyal, apathetic, or, hostile, and siblings may vacillate between these during different periods in their lives.
Sisters usually have the closest bond but also have the most conflict. But sharing a common background and family history can be a powerful magnet and can encourage resolving differences and enjoying the benefits of being truly known and loved. Who else remembers you with braces or was there when ..!
Strong family relationships are an important foundation for a healthy lifestyle.
Nurture them, and never take them for granted.
Enjoy a fulfilling and joyous relationship!
* Bienhome Muivah wrote this article for Hueiyen Lanpao (English Edition)
The writer is a Church Ministry Promoter at MBC Centre Church
This article was posted on August 17, 2013.
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