17th May, 1994: I never thought that time would just pass by so smoothly and with perfect dignity. I am saying this because all those twelve months just went by looking after little Vicky, caring for his every needs, playing with him, watching him grow into this little sweetheart of the family.

I had never lived with such expections for the future as am living now and all the credit goes to my little Vicky.

When he first opened his eyes to the "beautiful world" and began to see things I suddenly realized life itself is like the petals of a beautiful flower, unfolding everyday, mystical and mysterious. I started waiting for Vicky to sit on his own, the crawl then stand on his on.

I began to live with new hope, new expectations for Vicky but I never realized that it has awaken something in me, something that has been dead.... long time ago. I was beaming with joy.

Today we celebrated Vicky's first birthday.

I never thought that a person's birthday is so important not only to the person but to everyone around him. I had never celebrated my birthday, left alone, my parents might not even be remembering my birthday.

Thats the difference between privileged and deprived ones. We are considered as a burden but they are considered as blessings.

But it would be hard to deny the fact that little Vicky is blessing, most of all for me. He is the apple of my eyes. I never feel bored whenever he is around me. And little Vicky eats when I feed him, sleeps when I cradle him.

I can say that I love him even more than my own brother and I can feel the same from him. Only blood relation doesnt counts, it all depends on how much you care and how much you contribute to the relation. Aunty is too busy to cater to all his needs so most of the time he is left with me.

Little Vicky love me with all my imperfections. He never complains about how ugly I look or how stupid and dumb I am. For him I am flawless. Thats the way a child loves you. As long as you make him happy and cater to all his needs you are the best person on earth.

For a child - prince and pauper are alike, prophet and thieves are alike as long as you love him. I had never experienced the harmony I feel whenever I look into his eyes.

December, 1994: I know that I am growing up. My body is undergoing its own natural physiological and psychological changes. I am entering my puberty and I am feeling most insecure and confused. I wish I could have my mom to talk to.

I have thousands questions on my mind, many things happening with me which seems all new and awkward. I feel like staying indoor all the time. I am confused about this sudden mood swings and this creepy feelin to cry everytime. I wanted to talk to aunty but something is pulling me away.

My own gut feeling of insecurity about being rejected as being an awkward creature. Besides no matter how good she is, she isnt my mom!

How I terribly miss my home! And this feeling of hatred for pushing me away from them... leaving me all by myself, to grow alone....

As time rolls on, I began to understand myself even better. I feel like am getting stronger day by day. This abonormal hard life had made me more tougher. I have this feeling now and then to go out to this vast wide world, explore it and do something which would make my soul, my mind and my heart proud of me. I feel I can be somebody, something else....but not a domestic helper.

July 1996: My younger sister who is quite priveledged to stay with my parents had eloped with her lover. She is just thirteen years old. And my parents got them married.

I had stared to make little plans for her and how she wasted it. I always hoped that she would enjoy her childhood days unlike me but she just short cut it for some guy?

I coudnt help but abhore her. I am here working day and night trying to make everyone happy sacrificing my own little happiness , all the pampers of the world wishing day and night to go back to those sweet days of younger years and she just wasted the beautiful moments at her hands.

How cruel fate is............

To be continued ....

NOTE:
There is strong opposition against child labour in the entire world and mostly in the third world country. In our very own state manipur,there is a common practise of giving away innocent children as domestic helpers by the poor parents. Some are lucky enough to be treated as the children of the new home while some children have to face the brutality from their "new home". But even if the childrens are being adopted as the children of the new home,what about the innocence that they have to compromise with by exposing them to the various facets of life at an early age? Every one of these children have a story of their own which is as important as anyone of our life story. They are the unsung heroes who had learnt to face life"s challenges since early childhood. My story is an adaptation from the real life story of one of the domestic helper whom I know and had grown up with though the names and certain events have been slightly modified.