Letters From Cornell University
- Part 2 -
- Home Is Where The Heart Is -

By Rajkumari Sunita Devi *

Who wants to be in a foreign land, eating food which he have never tasted before, drinking juice and beverages. and more juice, which taste he doesn't like at all. Pretending to be someone who he never was, listening to tales of goodwill and fun and luxury and fortunes, when his place back home is burning.

All these buildings, mansions , fashion houses, restaurants, theatres, resorts and what not. All these beautiful clothes, playthings, toys, shoes..... everything, the best of the best.

For those who are fortunate enough to be here (or are they the unfortunate one, we need to ponder) how everything looks so cool, awesome. But what about the rest of them who is back home?

They are a part of our heart. Families, friends, foes, they have become our system. A system one can't live without. For those who are here, one can wonder how they must be living when part of their system is somewhere.

One can change when he is here(please don't blame him), he becomes more hard, more strong, more heartless cos he have to survive. Theres no way he can get lose in this human jungle. Its survival of the fittest and he have to be the fittest so he is here.

But when night falls, when he is alone, and the creatures started working in his mind, he remembers, everyday, every moment, he is not happy. He tries to be but he is not, so he started seeking for his destiny.

Poor him, he will never find his destiny. He will be caught in the wheels of time where everyday is a day made of 24 hrs and every hour made of 60 minutes and every minute of 60 seconds.

Poor him, he doesn't know anymore what Is the time back home. He loses track of himself and all he thinks about is how to survive, to be better, more better,to be the best.

Little did he know the superlative 'best' doesn't exist here. It's always 'super'. The apples so big, the girls so beautiful, the guys so strong. Everything is super here. 'Best' doesn't exist , it is for the undergrads.

One have to be what he is not , he is caught in hypocrisy created by himself. Why not, when everything is so different. There is no base for comparision, no basis at all.

How can one compare survival with the super. How can one compare a square meal a day with 1 million different choice of foods. How can one compare a glass of water with a thousand cellar of wines, another thousands of fruit drinks, another thousand of what not.

This is not real, everything is not real and one has to bring another here to prove himself this kinda things exist in this world. How can god create the world with so much disparity? How can he be so cruel? Well, why blame him anyway. Its fate or fortune .

Poor him, who is lost here, in the roller coaster of "am I happy? Am I sad?" chain. It's just a momentary madness for him. For a second he get loses of his sense but for the next 359 seconds he is sane and it's the sanity that makes him insane.

The realization of what's happening back home is too cruel. People living without electricity for days. People living with bad roads, no rules, no rights.

People not having anything to eat but too proud to say it, people who have everything but doesn't want to share, people stealing other people's right, other people's property and call themselves rich and creamy, people misusing the power given to them.....

But that's the home where he comes from, that's the home he knows. He can't change it, he doesn't want to be one of them there, he doesn't want to be one of them here. Lets not blame him, lets blame the system back home which drives him away from home. His own people doesn't give him a chance to be himself, so he tries to be somebody here.

Whoever he was, is, the shadow of sadness always looms behind him because home is where his heart is, and his heart is back home .........

Dedicated to all those people who left Manipur in search of happiness.

Read more on Sunita here.

• Catchments characterization of Loktak Lake
• Living with Rock 'n' Roll and my hus-band