From a dog’s view The autobarkography of my dog, Jackie !
- A story -

Helga Khumanthem *

(Please remember that 2 or 3 parts of the story are just my imagination. Those parts will be shown on the last page. Thanks!)

1. MY OWNERS

Pet owners are extremely funny people, or humans, as they call themselves. I think my owners are quite strange. I have eight owners, most of them wearing these strange rectangular things around their eyes. Once upon a time, there used to be cat in the family. I ate him up (my owners never found out)! But he tasted quite revolting to me, so I left him somewhere. After all, it's not as if we dogs don't have our dignity.

Humans are very funny. Every night, they lay out delicious looking dishes on the on the big structure which they have their meals on. But when I try to sniff the food, I end up getting smacked instead. It's not fair, if you ask me. I just want to sniff them, nothing else. I have my own dinner (although it would be nice if I had a little taste of their human food). It smells quite interesting, if you ask me.

2. MY PLAYTHINGS

I get nice playthings now and then but these days, I only have a tiny little toy to play with. I heard one of my owners calling it a 'plastik cup'. I think this 'plastik' was the same thing my other playthings were made of. They were wonderful round objects with a neck and a flat bottom that made a 'crunch' sound when I bit into them and chewed them up. They're called 'botels', I think.

Well, whatever these 'botels' are, they are very good toys for dogs like me who love to bite and chase things. Especially the small hard things screwed on top of the 'botel'. Very crunchy. Sometimes one or two of my owners come up and kick the 'botel' away. It's a very fun game, I must say. They kick the 'botel', I chase after it. Speaking of kicking and chasing, I used to play with small round objects which my owners called 'bawls'. But they mysteriously disappeared one by one. I wonder what happened to them.

3. MY BUSINESS

Thereare some very revolting things about humans. They use strange bowl-shaped structures to do their business in. The disgusting part about this is that they share the 'toylets' (as I heard them being called) with other humans. Luckily, we dogs don't have to use these bowl-shaped structures and share with other dogs to do our business.

I do it neatly on the 'floar' of my owners' living box (which they call a 'howse'). The best part is that my owners always clean up after me and send me outside, probably so that I wouldn't have to watch the disgusting scene. How immensely kind of them! The strange part is, after they send me out, they don't let me come inside. Whatever the reason may be, I'm sure they mean well. Isn't that nice of them?

4. MY OWN PROBLEMS

Unfortunately, just because we are dogs, it does not mean that we don't have our own problems. Even though my owners love me, there are three members of my owner family whom, I think, don't like me very much. I cannot think of any reason why, though. I've never done anything wrong to them, as far back as I remember.

I have other problems too. One of them being my ears. My ears are very long; this causes them to fall in my meals and water, which is very annoying. I only wish I could get a stretchy rope like my female owners. They take the small stretchy rope, bundle up the strange-looking fur on their heads, and they secure it with the stretchy rope. It's quite a fine idea.

5. MY OWNERS' LIVING BOX

My owners have a spacious, but strange living box. In one of the rooms, there is a big structure on the wall. My owners call it a 'teevee'. It's very interesting. There's also a room where my owners have their meals in. I suppose I already told you about the structure where my owners sit and have their meals. After that, there's the food-making room, the sleeping rooms and small rooms where the bowl-shaped structures are.

I also have my very own kingdom above my owners' living box. My kingdom is also like a living box but it's more open and airy. I can do my business anywhere I want in my kingdom. Sometimes, my owners put a metal rope around my neck and tie it somewhere. It's a very cruel thing to do, but I suppose pet owners will be pet owners.

6. MY EARLIER LIFE

Before my present owners got me, I lived with a nice lady and other dogs. From my home, I used to look out and see strange things whizzing past on the street. I call them 'travel boxes'. Then one day two young female members of my owner family came in a 'travel box' and took me away. I could tell that they knew my owner because my owner greeted them and went on as if she already knew they would come. After that, they piled me into the travel car and took off.

Although I am living with a nice and caring family, I still miss the nice lady back home. But I guess 'home' is where I am now. I do visit her now and then when my owners take me there to check my health and buy stuff. Well, at least I'm not one of those dogs who leave their home and never, ever return again. That just sounds horrible.

7. A LAST WORD

I agree, sometimes my owners smack me or scold me. But that's for my own good. Yes, people can be strange and disgusting, but they can also be wonderful, caring, loving, affectionate and everything good. That's what I learnt from my owners. So that means there's only one word to describe a life like this: perfect.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thanks to Nene for letting me use her laptop!

Thanks to my family for being a support.

Thanks to Che Richa for not reading this in advance.

And mostly, thanks to Jackie (the subject of this story) for being an inspiration and a great friend!

PARTS WHICH WERE IMAGINED BY ME

1. Jackie eating my cat- Jackie didn't eat him, my cat ran way.

2. All the misspelled words- So that they would look 'doggish'.

That's all!