How I Grew Up With This Nature - 14
- She knows all about me and loves me just the same -

By Devaraj Takhellambam *

How has been life treating you my friends? I don't believe this is almost a year now that I have not scribbled down on this beautiful platform. Even the plants have shed and groom fresh leaves. I would be too embarrassed to tell you that – I didn't have time to do so :) and now I know I have been missing it.

I bought a beautiful flower plant from SPAR last weekend and kept it near the main doorway entrance. I took care of her every morning and every night before I go to bed feeding water. It feels just good to have a flower of your own and to watch waving its leaves with the wind. Sometimes I would change position of the flower in a suitable area where it can absorbed some sun rays keeping in mind about photosynthesis and chlorophyll and that's how I find it satisfying. My wife find it little jealous when I have to take much care of the flower and not her…She wants to be treated so special…Do all the girls think the same?

The weather here in Bangalore, since the past couple of weeks has been amazing, absolutely heart throbbing, if I have to use a stronger word.

With that, here is the message for you– Nature loves you and takes good care of you and therefore I encourage you to love the nature and plant a flower/tree. Today, I would like to scribe some of my experiences of my own wedding. Yes, you heard it right!!!! Here we go…..

Life is a different story now with a new reflection and new thoughts. The floors are cleaner now. The kitchen is much tidier and the bathroom smells good. My friend, it was 29'Th January 2010, on the beautiful shinny day, I got married with my lovely wife Rose (name changed for so and so reason).

It's not washing linens in the public but I thought I should share with you about my wedding. The few months before and after are definitely busy and it is a big lesson that everybody on this earth will learn one day! Everybody gets their day sooner or later and the excitement is tremendous...Believe me!!

Dec09/Jan10:

Busy with work and getting ready to go home for my marriage. Those were the busy days buying clothes and accessories and stuffs, you know what I mean. But the most important ones- I need to buy a chappal (from Bata showroom) to wear on the D day. Also, white handkerchief, white shorts to go with the dhoti. :) You got to do it brother, there is no escaping.

January 10'Th:

I landed at the Tulihal airport, Imphal with a great smile on my face, with beautiful thoughts and excitement about the wedding to embrace soon. I won't hesitate to say that it was a mix of emotions and joy. It was a different feeling when I landed at the airport compared with any other homecomings. Days went too fast from "doing the last touch up works", painting the gate, fitting with decorated lights in the rooms, leveling the road with grinded chips, fencing the boundary of the house...it was an endless list of works that needed to be completed. Trust me, I lost about 4 kg and the best part is that, it made me more handsome :) lol

It was simply amazing how days passed by, from buying my pyjamah clothes and going to the tailor shop to stitch it, the koyet, ordering the heijingpot 's eatables to be sent to the brides place, printing the invitation card, sending them to my dear friends & relatives. Believe me; you always have something to do, always!!! And when the night ticks, you would be thinking what you will be doing tomorrow!!

I forgot most of the days to call my fiancée to check out how things are at her end and that's one complaint I received from her after marriage. I accept the fact that both the girl and the boy should keep in touch and talk more on phone whenever possible in order to amend any communication lapse…I got poor marks there but my friends , in your case, I would encourage you to have more frequent talks, not sweet romances but more of discussions :)

25'Th January 2010

I can already smell the sweet aroma of the incense sticks & the fruits surrounding my house early morning on the day of the heijingpot. Ah! I went to check on the cake which I had ordered for this special occasion and it was decorated and neatly gift wrapped. It's a beautiful story and I find it amazing how these things has been adapted to our culture to send a cake as well. I would think that the whole idea is to exchange love...Am I wrong? You will send the cake on the day of the heijingpot along with other eatable items to the brides place and she will cut the cake and relish with her near and dear ones and send back half of it to me. And I should be the first person to eat from the other half before I can offer it to someone else...Love love, Is it love? I don't really know but I find it little strange...

It was pretty fun driving my old bike to the MG road, kunung-mamang, and porompat and sometimes at Manipur University campus to withdraw some money from the SBI ATM machine.

Hair cut, shave your beard. I asked my parents if I could keep my French beard on the day of my marriage and they politely turn down my request. I wanted to make it more unique and memorable. The truth is, the elders and society will not like to see a groom with beards. I went searching for a nice barber shop with my brother at Chingmeirong.

With my brother's instructions, the barber did a fantastic job taking care of every minute details...It was indeed a best hair cut I ever had in my life...and I took care of the shaving part myself... :)

The "bor senaba" gentleman taught me how to sit, stand, look, and some mantras as well..Brother, you will learn about it when your turn arrives :) He was a life savior to me that very day...I was glad to have him with all his blessings.

29'Th January 2010 Wedding:

Can you imagine sitting in the neatly decorated mantap at the brides place with all the attention on you & without you moving around or flexing muscles, staring at some imaginary object, and sometimes looking at my Mom who sits right opposite to me. New Dev's law- when you need to sit straight at the mantap surrounded by people, your nose will start itching, your eyes will start blinking and you will become thirsty.

I was wrapped with the white clothes so I couldn't relax my muscles too much as well – What a moment of sedentary postures, moments of meditation thinking about – Am I really getting married & is this happening to me? Hundreds of people were watching me and some will do little chit-chats and some will listen to the prayer songs sung by the stylish lady singers. The only thought I had in mind was to get that ceremony completed as soon as possible so that I can stand and take a sigh of deep breath. Life taught me a lesson there – be ready to stay still if you want to get married :)

Coming back from the brides place after performing the ceremonies with prayers and exchanging the very lifetime achievement garlands, I had to change my dress and wear something casual. I put on a jean and some shirt which I could got hold of from my "phakang oeiringei-gee/bacheler's room". Later, my sister insisted me to wear something neat and nice; I realized I was still coming back to my senses. Ah!! How do I know about it...There is no book where I read instructing me what to do and what not to do...it comes only through experience which taught me the one-time lessons and I would be happy to transfer these precious lessons back to my friends, siblings and others.

Few of my friends would be drunk and start talking loudly and some would asked me stupid questions which were all a part of the fun that day!. It became colder in the evening and some will shout from one corner that few guests have still not got their eatables, some would demand for tea, some would ask for alcohol and some would sit silent in one corner and wondering about life and childhood. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know where to stay and what to talk about. It was a complete dilemma for me. For a moment, I thought, I will hide in some place and emerge only when everybody has left the house. I was shy...

And on the interesting side, I was feeling little thirsty and so walked in to the kitchen. My sisters and her friends were all there cooking food or whatever. I saw one lady standing quietly there with shyness. I was thinking to myself that I had not seen this lady before and she was beautiful too…I asked for some water and she gave It to me smiling…I drank it and came out…I thought she must be some friend of my sister as many of them had come that day…Few days later, I realized that it was my wife and my only wife…what have I been thinking..And I thought to myself...Aha :) She stills feels bad I couldn't recognize her that day...I keep telling her that I wasn't use to seeing beautiful lady in my house and so I wasn't aware if I was dreaming..That did the trick to win that question…my bad!

Here is my best quote in support of the meaning of marriage to me.

To the lamp of love - may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.

Buying sweets for the bridal's family visit for the "one-day-after-marriage" celebration/occasion whatever is more appropriate to be called, was another fun. I made several trips to the market during the entire episode..Trust me; I was never tired too…

3'rd Feb 2010 Chakouba:

People have started arriving at my residence at around 9am and some have already started drinking in the terrace in the sun. Some were shouting to get ready and some would just smile and walk up and down…I took a bath and dressed up nicely …and started greeting my friends…It was truly astonishing to celebrate the hectic days gone by with a relaxing nice meal at the bride's place…I was treated like a king and I was the king…I would be very honest with you that I was even walking like a king :) and that feeling is just awesome…really. The gathering of about 400 people there can't eat their lunch until I start eating...Now what can I say? It was a very special moment which I will never get again. So dear friends, make use of it to the best when you get the chance…I meant it.

And that was how my wedding was completed successfully…Praise the Lord!!

Alright friends, I would like to cut the story short here and thank you for all the supports, prayers and your presence. That means a lot!

There were some small hiccups as usual but they were best denied if there is a good understanding between the families and nobody bothered about it. That was the good part. It happens once in your life and you really want to make it big and beautiful and most memorable. I admit there were few things that I thought could have done much better or in a different way, but that's something you got to live with- That is life!!!

I should thank God and everyone for making it went so well. I do not mean to scare you with all these stories for all those who are yet to get married but to give you an insight on how you could do better to make it more WOW and enjoyable!. And for those who got married already, please take a minute and think back about it and that will definitely bring a smile on your face. If it doesn't, then you are still young :) and go for an extra honeymoon.

I went to this restaurant called "Kobe" at Koramangala this weekend. They have the finest sizzlers in town that I am aware of and it was a lovely romantic dinner for me and my wife. After the dinner we went for a small walk talking about the past old days of younger hood. It was a very nice time spent together in a simple way…I keep saying I am still young :)

As I said, the weather is simply superb and enjoy it every bit..Make your life more memorable and enchanting as you know time never waits. Don't delay to do something good today or something naughty…If you have to go for a H1N1 nose spray vaccine, go ahead and do it…Safeguard your life and cherish the beautiful moments…Go out for a date or take your loved ones for a dinner..Whatever makes you more enjoyable and comforting…….Don't wait!!!

While I was writing this series on this beautiful afternoon, I got this message from my wife on my mobile. I don't know why she send it to me but she did and I thought I will just share it with you just to make the environment more real …I don't know what it means to be but I will check out with her at home in the evening….Until then take care!!

Here is the message:"Came across this in diary while making notes- A man who truly wants to make the world better should start by improving himself and his attitudes"..

( to be continued....)