Violence and the Female

Natalidita Ningthoukhongjam *

A woman confronting a man in the film "Khujin Gee Mami" : Pix - eRang

"An open-handed slap is justified."
- Sean Connery

In the wake of last week's One Billion Rising event, I found myself thinking of Soma's character in Ang Tamo. She plays a tough, no-nonsense police officer who doesn't shy away from punching thugs or brandishing guns at their face. Then, she falls for the "hero" of the movie, portrayed by Kaiku, who either tolerates people or hits them.

There's this scene in which the hero seizes a random person on the road by his collar and threatens to do him physical harm. The person's crime? He dared to accidentally block the hero's way. Meanwhile, our female police officer watches on love-struck, as though her man has just lifted a dying man from the street and saved his life.

As far as the plot is concerned, this is not a terribly important scene; for me, it is a critical moment because I'm intrigued by the policewoman's personality shifts in the movie. What a marvellous blend of strength and softness, I thought without excitement. Look how rough she is with the rascals, and how delicate with the hero, a man whose only redeeming quality is his sympathy towards a helpless soul.

Then, my train of thought changed tracks. What if their roles had been reversed? Say, Kaiku played a policeman, and Soma, a hot-tempered girl who can fight men. In a similar scene, a poor man walks in front of Soma's bike. Soma gets off and starts yelling her head off at him. Kaiku, the policeman, has a dreamy expression on his face as he enjoys his future wife verbally abusing an innocent man, and almost physically assaults him....

I shook my head and laughed sadly; such a scene is in danger of receiving varying reactions, none of which is the passive acceptance the original intended to get (and probably got). One can be horrified at the violent woman's attitude; one can be amused by it because it's funny when a woman tries to "act like a man"; one can be offended because no woman would do that in reality, and honestly, this movie is asking us to believe too much! No one will say, "Oh, come on. It's just a woman being a woman. What is the big deal?"

There are only certain situations in which a woman can raise her hand to hit someone and not be accused of being "manly". A mother rebuking a child. A social activist punishing a criminal, male or female. An individual defending herself from harassment. She's a boxer. Or she's a policewoman.

It's a rare thing to hear of a wife beating a husband because he came home late at night, and drunk as well; rarer still to hear that she did it because he was caught with another woman. Yet, there are men we know who whip their woman for lesser evils like being suspected of talking to other men, answering back in the presence of others, or making the morok metpa (pepper chutney) too hot.

We find these men disgusting, yet how many of us label these actions as crimes punishable by the law? When a woman is raped, we're up in arms, but why are so many of us willing to resign domestic abuse as something which should be sorted out between the husband and the wife? Even when the hand is stayed, it is because it is "unmanly" to raise it on a woman. A man who doesn't know how to throw a punch, or worse still, doesn't want to, is not a "man". Violence lies firmly within the male province.

The consequences of believing it is normal for a man to be violent can be examined with the help of music artist Rihanna's case. In 2009, Chris Brown, whom she was dating at the time, attacked her inside a car in the midst of a heated argument. Why they were arguing in the first place isn't important in this context; it's the responses to the attack that shed light on the grime.

While Brown has been vilified by millions of angry fans and the media, he has also enjoyed the support of a few people, including his own mother who put the blame on Rihanna; Justin Bieber who insists "they should focus on his music", his fans who populate the hash tag "TeamBreezy" on Twitter, and in a not surprising twist, Rihanna herself who claims in interviews that she believes he was disgusted by his act.

It doesn't matter that Brown has been involved in an inordinate number of "Twitter Wars" since his arrest three years ago; that he continues to threaten people on an online public forum; that his fans goad him to punch his detractors.

Chris Brown, however, is only been one of the few loud examples in the entertainment business; he was unfortunately caught in an era when news and opinions are instantly and easily available. Sean Connery heartily endorsed the slapping of women on national TV in the 80's. Sean Penn once tied Madonna to a chair and beat her for hours.

Gary Oldman hit his ex-wife with a telephone in front of their children. John Lennon admitted to physically abusing both his first wife and Yoko Ono. They are only a few examples in a long and horrifying list.

Life, of course, goes on. Connery is still held by many as the James Bond. Penn won an Oscar. Oldman continues to be one of the most respected actors in the industry. I believe, a few people actually think of Lennon as their god.

What is violence against a woman, after all, but an irrepressible natural instinct for men?