Nuja gi crooked angle

Dr Jiten Konthoujam *

A function at Congress Bhavan, Imphal :: pix - Banti Phurailatpam

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are - Marilyn Monroe

During my college days way back in 1972, I came across a prominent lady doctor in her 40's at Palam Airport . I mistook her for a nepali woman, until I heard her speak in meiteilon. That was my first encounter with a meitei lady in sari. This time (October 2012), I passed by another one in her early 60's in salwar, proudly escorted by her husband at Delhi Hatt.

For the first time in my life, I wished I were blind and deaf to the sight and sound of the manipuri transformation. With maturity the manipuri civilization is rapidly overcastted under the shadows of the Indian Idol. Living abroad with a picture of the "pung-cholom" hung on the wall and "khulang esei" boost up the manipuri spirit in the self. It is that spirit of self esteem that enables me to act and look at the world from its true perspectives.

What matters most is not – how people see you, but how you see yourself. In a small village in Ethiopia, I was greeted by half naked men and women singing and cheering. In Laos, ladies in phaneks greet visitors and friends politely with folded hands "Sawadi". I am proud of them.

At the Classic Hotel in Imphal, hypnotized lady staffs with their mismatched features adorned in sari, receive visitors in the reception hall. Enthusiastic first time visitors to Manipur gets instantly bored. I don't know how Mr. Beautiful at the hotel's management sees this. But this is not what people come for.

In Manipur they expected something exotic. Something more than any person who reminds him of his desi "aya" back home ? Hospitality is finished. The thrill is gone! I clearly remembered the blue eyed receptionist dressed in a smart light green jibab and hijab, who greeted me with a gentle bow and steady gesture of her right hand "salaam" in a hotel in Sana city, Yemen.

In fact the whole hotel was all decorated with shades of green, cream and brown. I envied her for the muslim tradition and their interaction with the world, within the confines of their strict Quran ideals. You might say-We live in a world of multi-religion and multicultural diversities. With globalization, the world is getting more and more exposed to new cultures, religions and ideologies etc.

If Manipuris have to integrate into the so global village, then good communication is a vital component. Greeting in your true ethnic self speaks more than any borrowed and decorated hospitality. Eventually, how one greets another person opens the door to better interaction or can shut it from any further relation.

A German friend who wanted to visit Manipur asked me – How do greet people in Manipur. I said fold your hand in front of your chest like they do in Thailand and say "khurumjari". By now, we have almost lost it to "namaste". No matter how hype, computer and stem cell technology advanced you are, generation gap is only skin deep. Culture and tradition still rules the realm of a community and society.

The meiteis have always lived and boasted of their rich tradition and culture. It is now a joke. Meiteis are now trading themselves as copies of some brand, preferably Indian. Contrary to their devotion, Manipuris still remain the mocking stock of the Indian mind set. Watch the Manipuri martial arts performance on You Tube "Entertainment ke liye kuch bhi karage". The Anchor claimed " Yeh Manipur se nahi hai, yeh Goa se hai".

The irony behind it is that –it was an intentional remark, not a matter of ignorance on the existence of Manipur. You have heard it .You have seen it, Indians always prefer to downsize the manipuris and never give them the deserving credit for what they are. Yet, look at the elated young manipuri netas dressed up like Rahul Gandhi and the congress party robots with their Nehru caps and tricolor sari littering every party supported functions.

The question is – who is responsible for messing up the manipuri dignity? The corrupt anchor hosting the entertainment show or the Manipuri officers and their corrupt sari strapped wives visiting Delhi on official visits . It is nobody, but just the self.

Manipuri identity and respect is in the crux of a phenomenal dilemma of self esteem. The values, believes and attitudes that we hold of ourselves. A realistic respect and impression of one's own self –self respect. Would a lady doctor or a professor in sari be more accountable and respectable than her counterpart in phanek ?

When one loss self respect, there is nothing left to be respected. It is only self ego that keeps the individual breathing. Some mainland Indian journalist described Manipur as a little Korea, from the value of the dress code of the millennium youngsters. Well! It suits them fine. I believe if this vibe had come a little earlier, our kids would have at least been saved from looking like some bihari mixed breeds, both in terms of looks and attitudes.

Self esteem is the escense to experience competency to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness. Too much of it, results in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures. It is not about bragging about yourself, it's actually knowing within, that you are worthy of the best.

It is about loving and accepting yourself just the way you are – not about thinking you are perfect. So it is very important to have a good or high self esteem as it is not only beneficial to the person, but also to those around. It helps in making a person better in every sense. However a poor or even a false high self esteem can lead to one's downfall.

A person cannot be judged from his/her apparel. However, it does reflect the way he/ she looks at the world. The purpose of his/her mission. To be an Indian or a Manipuri or personal choice in grooming is not the issue. The subject is a matter of defeated morale, slowly turning Meitei women into alien rag pickers.

Discarding the phanek for the sari and salwar on excuses like-Oh they are so heavy, they look odd and uncomfortable among different ranks of the Manipuri women is absolutely negating their own chastity and sanctity. It does not serve the ethical purpose of their karma.

Would you like to be a distinguished face in the crowd, or a coward sheltered behind the shadows of a crowd ? Manipuri women has always been the driving force behind the cause and pride of the Manipuri society. If the ladies stop, the men will not dare to trespass. Stop this madness of being a desi Indian wannabe.

"I'm not a wannabe. I'm who I wannabe." – Hawk Nelson