Temper tantrums

Jodibala Haobijam *

Tantrum is an emotional outburst of ill humor. Temper tantrums or "acting-out" behaviors are natural during early childhood development.

Children have a normal and natural tendency to assert their independence as they learn they are separate beings from their parents. They may also refer to an inability to control emotions due to frustration or difficulty in expressing a particular need or desire.

It usually occurs between the ages of 1 to 3 and is equally common in both boys and girls .Temper tantrums usually last for 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Children who have tantrums after the age of 4 years may need help in learning to deal with anger.

If tantrums continue or start during the school years, they may be a sign of other issues, such as learning problems or trouble in getting along with other children

Causes of Tantrums

Several basic causes of tantrums are familiar to parents all over the world. The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. It ranges from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding.

It is ultimately an attention-seeking, disruptive or undesirable behaviors or emotional outbursts displayed in response to unmet needs or desires.

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. Imagine not being able to communicate your needs to someone — a frustrating experience that may precipitate a tantrum. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.

Another task toddlers are facing is an increasing need for autonomy. Toddlers want a sense of independence and control over the environment - more than they may be capable of handling.

This creates the perfect condition for power struggles as a child thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." When kids discover that they can't do it and can't have everything they want, the stage is set for a tantrum.

Tactics /strategies to deal with temper tantrum

• First, try to understand what's going on. Keep cool. Take deep breaths and try to think clearly.
• The best way to deal with temper tantrums is to avoid them in the first place, whenever possible.
• Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good ("time in"), which means rewarding your little one with attention for positive behavior.
• Distract your child or simply change the environment. Take your toddler outside or inside or move to a different room.
• Set the stage for success when kids are playing or trying to master a new task. Offer age-appropriate toys and games.
• Consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Choose your battles; accommodate when you can.
• Know your child's limits.
• Ignoring the outburst is one way to handle it — if the tantrum poses no threat to your child or others. Continue your activities, paying no attention to your child but remaining within sight.
• Make sure that your child eats and sleeps at his or her usual times.
• Lying down for 15-20 minutes or resting with you while you read stories together at regular times of the day can help prevent tantrums.
• You can also try gentle distraction to activities that they enjoy or try making a funny face.
• Offer choices whenever possible. For example, let your child pick what clothes to wear and stories to read.
• A quiet, peaceful response and atmosphere, without "giving in" or breaking the rule that you just set, will reduce stress and make both of you feel better.