Lu-Hongba - Part 1
(Pre Marriage Procedural Functions)

By: N Mangi Devi *

Meaning and significance - Lu and Hongba two words are compounded "Luhongba" (Marriage). Lu- means root (origin) Hongba (change) at the time a girl becomes matured she has to change her yek-salai (clan) to that of the boy to whom she has given in marriage with the agreement of two clans and with consent of both the girl and the boy.

Normally, in the present days in the Manipuri society when the girl and the boy reached the age of 21 to 26 years they are considered to be fit for marriage. The society accepts them to be matured to get married and start the household life.

The function is very important in one's life as they have to take responsibility of the family and the society and they are supposed to perform all duties accepted by the society and they can reproduce for pro-creation and perform all religious function together for the welfare of the family and the society.

On the day of marriage all deities of both families are to be prayed, the supreme God is to be worshipped and sankirtana (prayer songs) is "a must" of this ceremony. We can deal with the marriage in two aspects; the preparatory aspect, and the marriage function itself.

Two types of marriage are accepted i.e
1. the arranged marriage and
2. elopement marriage.

If it is arranged marriage by the parents of the boy and the girl there are processes to be followed:
i. proposal the girl (Nupi-haiba) by the party of the boy to that of the girl. This is known as "MangolKaba" mainly by the mother of the boy with her relatives. It is the first contact of the parents of the boy and the girl to know each other and communicate all the relevant talks about their family accounts and clans and also matters relating to the boy and the girl. If it is acceptable according to seven Yek Salai and the next step is

ii. 'Yathang-Thaba " expressing consent to each other of both parents. It is being done after communicating to each other through messengers and also hearing the consent and willingness of the boy and the girl. In both two processes the parents of the boy are suppossed to bring fruits and other eatables, to the house of the girl. In the initial stages only ladies are mainly involved while later on the inclusion of males in the discussion is "a must" then the third step is

iii. "Wa-Roi-Pot-Puba " the finishing point of agreement in the presence of a bigger gathering of members of both families, relatives, friends and local elders of both families. It is a feast of merry making of gatherings with things like fruits and sweets brought by the parents of the boy.

It is the formal announcement of the engagement for the marriage since usually the date of the marriage function is made known to all assembled. After this process the boy and the girl should not think of any other boy or girl and cannot move out as they desire. The approach of any other boy's party are not entertained.

Ladies carrying the Pheiruks for Heijingpot

The last final step before the marriage function is Heijing-pot or Beijing Kharai Puba. It is usually performed one or two days ahead of the marriage function itself. It is said that without this particular function the process of the marriage is not a complete one as it bears great significance in the whole life of the married couples and their children.

This function of Heijing -Pot - Puba which is highly essential is held in still bigger assembly of relatives, friends and people of the locality of both parties of the boy and the girl. The items of fruits and other eatables are many and varied that are to be arranged and brought by the parents and the parties of the boy to the house of the girl.

The women will dress nicely with traditional Meiteis attire and men are also dressed up with white dhoties and white shirts. There are special and typical items of fruits that are essentials for offering to the deities of two clans.

They are heigru, heining, heijang, banana band changthokpa (counted pairs 5/7/9), white sugarcane, betel nut and betel leaf, hamei, leisang and clothes of the deitis. These things are put together in a phiruk (decorative container made of bamboo with cover).

One phiruk contains fruits for ancestor's deities and another for Lamlai, (local deities) for those deities clothes (Laiphis) are also put into that phiruk. Some people used to earmark fruits and clothes for Lainingthou and Lairemarel.

In this occasion special clothes and gold ornaments for the bride are also brought as gift. A lot of eatables mainly sweets items and special items for the bride and her friends are brought as agreed upon before the function. Many relatives, friends and local people both young and elders and even children are called.

At least five phiruks are to be arranged and to be lined up and carried on heads by beautifully dressed up ladies for some distance to the gate of the residence of bride even if these things are brought by vehicles from long distance. Other fruits and eatables are also to be carried .

The parties of the boy used to sit on east and north of the courtyard -Mandop and that of the girl side used to be seated on south and west (varanda of the house). After all the participants are seated at their proper places the priest or Amaiba will perform prayer and offer those special things brought by the boys parents and will do some sort of puja requesting the gods/ deities for enabling to perform the coming marriage ceremony, pray for the good health of both the boy and girl and their happiness and long life with issues.

After this function it is supposed that the girl no more belongs to her birth family rather she belongs to the new family. This ceremony is both merry making and sharing of food of like sweets among friends and relatives. Mutual love and understanding are formally established between friends relatives and local peoples of the two families.

There is a small function one day ahead of the marriage ceremony that is known as "Bor-Barton", the formal invitation for the bridegroom. On the afternoon of this day a younger brother of the girl with an elderly person will come to the house of the boy with a specially arranged betel nut with its leaves (traditional form of invitation) bound nicely by a white cloth while the groom wearing the dhoti and white shirt sits on a mat facing the east waits for the coming of the essential invitation.

Then the younger brother taking out the well prepared betel nut and its leaves will place before the bridegroom and will bow down making a request formally to come to the ceremony. Then the boy will garland a white garland to the bridegroom.

The parents of the bridegroom will present money to the young boy and the elderly person who have accompanied the boy. This is a healthy convention with show of respect and regard on both sides.

This is the speciality of Manipuri Meitei society. In the early days on the girls side also there were merry making by the local girls and friends with hearing "Pena " (playing and singing of a traditional instrument and dies play) at the residence of the bride. Such practices are no more in these days.

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* N Mangi Devi wrote this book entitled "Main Ceremonies of Meitei Society . This article was webcasted on January 24th 2010.