Traditional marriage institutions of Kabuis
- Part 2 -

By:- Dr Budha Kamei *

In Kabui society, when a woman marries she leaves her family (George Peter Murdock : Social Structure, Macmillan Company, New York, 1960, p. 16.) and she undertakes womanhood by changing her clan to that of the husband. (Alana Golmei : 2004, The Zeliangrong Nagas in Manipur : A Socio­Political Study, Unpublished Ph.D. Thesis, M.U, p. 42.) L.H. Morgan says, after marriage, a woman is reborn again and hence she is become the child of her husband since she is under the guardianship or control of her husband. (L. H. Morgan : opcit, Pp. 485-486.)

A woman after marriage normally shifts to her husband's residence bringing with her resource of knowledge and experience. (Pamela J. Stewart and Anrew Srathern : Female Spirit cult as a widow on gender relations in Highlands of Papua New Guinea, in the Journal of the Royal Anthropological Institute, vol.-5 Number-3 Sept., 1999, p. 347.) In the real sense of the term Noushonmei (marriage) is the change of family and clan name of the woman to that of her husband. (M. Chandrasing : Panthoibi Khonggul, Imphal, 1972, p. 38.)

She will worship the ancestors of her husband's family, not those of her own parents. (Garrick Baily and James Peoples : opcit, p.111.) According to Gluckman; "a married woman among the Zulu of South Africa had virtually no rights outside her husband lineage; once a woman was married her natal lineage forfeited virtually all authority over her". (David, L. Sills, (Ed.) : opcit. p. 13.) In Kabui Society, a married woman virtually fixes into the lineage of her husband.

The types of marriage that prevail may be studied under the following heads : (Gangmumei Kamei : Opcit, p.257)
(1) Khamthan Noushon (arranged marriage)
(2) Kakhaomei (Marriage of the widow of the deceased brother).
(3) Chamimei (Marriage to defray debt)
(4) Nimjaimei (Marriage by capture)
(5) Noumangmei (Marriage by servitude and matrilocal residence)
(6) Saam Taunmei (Elopement).

Majumdar and Madan opine that there are two types of marriages, viz (i) the regular (ii) the irregular. All regular marriages are parents-made. Irregular marriages affected through elopement, capture and so on. (D.N. Majumdar and T.N. Madan, An Introduction to Social Anthropology, National Publishing House, New Delhi, 1987, p. 72.)
(1) Khamthan Noushon (Arranged marriage) : Khamthan Noushon is one of the most common forms of marriage where marriage is performed through negotiation by the parents. (Naorem Sanajaoba (Ed.) Manipur: Past and Present Nagas & Kuki Chins, vol.-iii, Mittal Publications, New Delhi, 1995, p. 399.) It is regarded to be the best form of marriage and highly honour in the society. There are two types of arranged marriage namely; (i) Tuna Noushon (girl marriage) and (ii) Luchi Noushon (woman marriage). (Tingkao Ragwang Chapriak : 2002, Theilon Khatni Ringlon, Imphal, p.7.)

Usually, arranged marriage has a long process and it takes 3 to 4 years. The main stages of the arranged marriage are : (a) Lakpui Lamkeo Keomei (opening by women folk), (b) Nouthanmei khatni Noutimei (proposal for marriage and bride giving day), (c) Manthing Lemmei and Nouman Manmei (settlement and payment of the bride price) and (d) Noushonmei (wedding ceremony). (Ibid, Pp. 8-9.)

a) Lakpui Lamkeo Keomei (opening by womenfolk) : Marriage within the same clan or sub-clan or with blood relation is a dreaded taboo. (H.L. Dev Roy, A Tribe in Transition : The Jaintias of Meghalaya, Cosmo Publications, New Delhi, 1981, p. 32.) So, the first duty of the parents of the boy is to trace the lineage of the girl to ensure that they are not from the same clan. It is getting confirmed that they are not from the same clan only then the parents of the boy will start to act under the customs. Generally, the boy's parents will take initiative in arrange marriage.

Formal proposal should go from the boy's family. If both the boy and the girl are from the same village, the formalities are quite relaxed to some extent. However, if the girl belongs to another village, the necessary procedure is that some respected elderly women of the boy's family will go to the girl's house taking with them an iron hoe (Laogai) and a jar of wine. The women will talk to the parents of the girl on behalf of the boy's family and at the same time, one of them will place the Laogai at the bed of the girl's parents. This act symbolizes that the girl is being proposed. This is called Lakpui Lamkeo Keomei or Noushinkhammei.

Laogai is not returned if the proposal is accepted then; the boy's family will engage a house as shelter in the girl village. This shelter is locally known as Nouthan kaibang and it will serve as communication centre between the two families until the wedding ceremony is held. Next, two respected elderly men having living wives are selected as Nouthanpous, meaning negotiators who will act as go between until the marriage is solemnized. Tradition says, "without clouds in the sky, there is no rain and without go between there is no marriage". (Maurice Freedman : opcit, p. 262.)

b) Nouthanhutmei Khatni Noutimei (proposal for marriage and Bride Giving Day) : Like Khasis, they also perform divination to justify and sanctify the marriage, to enquire whether any taboos block the union of marriage. (Dr. Hamlet Barch : The History and Culture of Khasi People, Shillong, 1967, p. 324.)

On the appointed day, the two Nouthanpous will gather at Nouthon-kaibang and perform a ritual called Joupan keimei, offering of holy wine to Tingkao Ragwang for success in their mission. After that, they will proceed to the residence of the girl and talk to her parents on behalf of the boy. The day on which the final words are given by the girl's parents in favour of the boy is locally known as Noutimei meaning bride giving day. On this particular day, a date is fixed to declare the list of bride price.

c) Manthing Lemmei and Nouman Manmei (settlement and payment of the bride price) : On the fixed date, the family of the bride will announce the list of bride price. The items and number of articles in each item will be made counting by breaking pieces of sticks. Thus, the settlement of the bride-price is made. This is known as Manthing Lemmei. (K.S. Singh (Ed.) : 1998, People of India, Manipur, vol.-xxxi, Anthropological Survey of India Calcutta, p. 60.) The same stick will be handed over to the Lugaans of the boy's family. At the end of the settlement, a date is fixed for the payment of the bride-price with a drink locally known as Lat loi Jou.

Nouman (Bride-price) : Nouman literally means bride price; (Nou = bride, man = price). It is referred to gifts presented by groom's Kin to that of the bride. (David L. Sills : opcit, p. l3.) It is also known as progeny price or bride wealth. It may be interpreted into two ways : Labour price and soul price. The basic notion of Nouman is the transfer of the soul of the woman from her parental clan or lineage to that of her husband. By a marriage, a productive member of a family is lost and removed. Compensation is to be made in the form of bride price to the family for the loss of a daughter by the groom's family. (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.119.)

Indira Barua writes, the bride wealth compensates the bride's family for the loss of an active member, because among the Indian tribes, the female members of the household make a substantial contribution in the production as they are active members of agricultural and other household works. (Indira Barua : 2001, The Tai Turung of Assam, K.K. Publications, Allahabad, First Edition, p.64.) This compensation is not for the use of the bride, (Jack Goody and S.J. Tambiah : 1973, Bride Wealth and Dowry, Cambridge University Press, p.6.) it is utilised by the family because sometimes it is employed to get a wife for a son of the family. (A.R. Radcliffe-Brown and Daryll Forde (Ed.) : African Systems of Kinships and Marriage, Oxford University Press, 1964, Pp.53-54.) And in some societies, even the father of the bride makes it use to marry himself another wife. (Jack Goody and S.J. Jambiah : opcit, p.8.)

The payment of the bride price is permitted to the boy right to marry the girl and right to her children. (Makhan Jha : opcit, p.52.) In most patrilineal societies, "a marriage is marked by the transfer of bride wealth (in cattle, spears, money or other goods) from the groom's family to that of the bride. Bride wealth ensures that the children of the union shall be legitimate and affiliated to the husband's clan or family. Bride wealth is not, of course, purchase of a woman but a means of legitimising the marriage". (E.F. Bozman (Ed.) Everyman's Encyclopaedia, Fifth Edition, vol.-viii, London, 1967, p.250.) The payment of bride price, a woman has to lead to remain a wife rather than come back to live as a sister in her parental family. (Jack Goody and S.J. Tambiah : opcit, p.12.) Bride price is commonly also a guarantee that the young wife will be well treated in her new home. (George Peter Murdock : opcit, p.2l.)

The bride price is an important part in the customary practice of Kabui. According to this system, the parents of the groom have to give the bride price fixed by the customary law to the bride's family. But if the bride does not like to live with the husband and if she divorces, then the bride price has to be returned by the bride's family. (Jack Goody and S.T. Tamiah : opcit, p.12.) On the other hand, if the groom divorces her the bride price is not given back. T.C. Hudson mentions about the bride price of the Kabui as "seven buffaloes, two daos, two spears, two strings of beads made of conch shells, two ear ornaments, two black clothes, two eating vessels, two hoes and what is called a meilon". (T.C. Hudson : 1996, The Naga Tribes of Manipur, Low price Publications, Delhi, p.90.)

Less than this can be given and is, usually, except with the rich, amongst whom, they having paid a high price for a daughter-in-law, it is a subject of boasting. The meilon is given by the family of the bride it may be an article of much value but without it, "it is not thought that the bride has been fully given". (Ibid.)

Traditionally, the bride price comprises thirteen items namely;
(1) two buffalos,
(2) two spears,
(3) two eating brass plates,
(4) three clothes,
(5) one dao,
(6) four taduie,
(7) four nathang,
(8) two hoes,
(9) Guankam,
(10) one shenpak,
(11) one cock,
(12) one manpi and
(13) bamlinshen. (Tingkao Ragwang ChapRiak: 2009, Noushonmei Kathek Karek, Imphal, p.15.).

On the fixed day, all the items of the bride price are paid. This is known as Nouman Manmei. The acceptance of the bride price symbolises fixation of the marriage. (Rajat Kanti Das : opcit, p.36.) It also makes a signification that the man thereafter becomes responsible for accidents that might befall his bride. (A.R. Radcliffe-Brown and Daryllford (Ed.) : opcit, p.47.) In case of a married woman (widow) one will have to pay only one of each items and it is considered complete.

However, the practice of giving and receiving of bride price is never in the sense of selling and buying of human being, but it means several ideals and values, compensating the parents for parting their daughter, symbolising a new relationship between the two families. It is only to observe and honour the traditional customs and the price is rather symbolic and nominal. In Kabui society, marriage ceremony is not allowed to perform until the full payment of the bride price. (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.119.)

In the evening of the particular day, a ritual ceremony called Nauman Mhairak is performed in which a cock is offered to Tingkao Ragwang for wellbeing of the couple. (Tingkao Ragwang ChapRiak : 2002, Ringlon Khami Theilon, Imphal, p.10.) On this day, the year, month and day for the wedding is fixed and settled by the two parties. Under the Kabui custom, a marriage is required to perform within three years counting from the day of payment of the bride price and it should not pass three years. (Pongringlong kailuang Chapriak: 1999-2000, vol.-i, p.37.)

Generally, it is accepted that courtship and engagement should long enough to insure that each partner is aware of other's personality needs, attitudes and goals. (New Standard Encyclopedia, vol.-viii. Standard Educational Corporation, Chicago, 1981, pm-154.) The payment of bride price signifies that the girl is alienated from her group.

Generally, arranged marriage involved not only the two individuals but several groups of the village take part. (Arnold van Gennep : opcit, p.139.) The boys and girls of the dormitories will make farewell feast and exchange of gifts and presents with the bride. This is locally recognised as Tu Ta Tammei. It is a rite of incorporation. (Ibid. p.132) .

Like other Naga tribes, the Kabuis also give some articles as bridal gift to her daughter at the time of marriage. The articles are :
(i) A large covered basket for keeping clothes called Khuk,
(ii) 5 clothes,
(iii) weaving implements like cotton ginning machine, shuttle, beating sword, weaving belt, herald stick, warp beam, extra beam etc.
(iv) transporting baskets,
(v) a pig,
(vi) a fowl and
(vii) utensils etc. (Tingkao Ragwang ChapRiak : Noushonmei Kathek Karek, opcit, p.16.)

Season of Marriage : Seasons for marriage are always taken into consideration. Unfavourable months have to be avoided and generally during cultivation period marriage is not performed. Marriage requires a lot of rice and domestic animals for feasting and so, it is wise and convenient, the people think to perform marriages at a time when the granary is full. Traditionally, the Kabuis hold marriage in December, January, February, and March when the agricultural work is completed and the granaries are full and there is a good opportunity for bachelors to establish a home for themselves for the winter. (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.139.)

Noushonmei (wedding ceremony) : Generally, wedding ceremony is solemnised at the residence of the bridegroom. In the early morning of the day, an omen taking ritual called Guak-Pai-Jaomei is performed in which a healthy pig on behalf of the bride is offered to the supreme God. (Pongringlong Kailong Chapriak, opcit, p.38.) This ritual is performed at the residence of the bride. The spleen of the victim is examined by the present elders in search of good indicators. (Rajat Kanti Das : opcit, p.38) Guak-pai-jaomei literally means observation of the pig's spleen; (Guak = pig, Pai = spleen, Jaomei = to observe). The pig is roasted and cut into small pieces and then it is boiled. This boiled meat will be taken to the groom's house.

After morning food is over, the bride will take bath and put on traditional marriage dress and costume and she will be helped by her sister-in-Iaws of the family in dressing. (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.125.) Then, she along with her companions will start the journey for her final destination which symbolises that she is separated from her family and her village.

When the bride along with her companions arrives at the residence of the groom, the bride is warmly received by her mother-in-law (Rajat Kanti Das : opcit, p.38.) and a leaf cup of drink is offered which she drinks it (Jouduimei). (J.H. Hutton : The Angami Nagas opcit, p. 221.) Before she enters the house, she is purified by contacting the smoke of kham that brings her in as free as possible of the evil adhering to her. Then, she will enter the house by crossing the door with her right foot which symbolises that the bride is incorporated into the new environment (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.117.)

Finally, the marriage ceremony called Lang-daimhailak is performed in which a fowl, a ginger and a hoe are offered to the supreme God with a sort of religious hymns. In this ceremony, the bride and bridegroom are made to sit on a big bed called Langdai. The groom is authorised to sit on the right side of the bride hanging their legs in that side. The right and left legs of the groom and bride are made to press on the iron hoe until the sacrificing cock breaths last. It is performed by one of the Nouthanpous who officiates as priest.

The position of the legs is observed carefully when the victim dies. The omen is read as : If the right leg is over the left, it is assumed as good and the couple will be blessed with a male child and have a long life. If the left over the right, it is also treated good and the couple will be blessed with a female child. But, both the legs stop down lifelessly, it is considered as a bad omen. The content and emphasis of the rites of marriage (Mhairakmei) is, 'fertility', 'increasing progeny' and 'wealth'. It is a rite of individual union. (Ibid.) This is followed by oblation of holy wine to the supreme God for a long life and prosperity of the young couple.

Song competition on traditional songs like, Singlu, Chapalu etc will be held between the village elders of the bride and groom the entire night of wedding day at the residence of the groom. (Interview with Panmei Dingbulung (52) Village School Teacher, Poushanmei Churachandpur District on 13th March 2005.) .

The custom of Kabui does not permit the young couple to sleep together until the Pukpaomei function is performed which is normally held on the fifth day after marriage. The bride groom will sleep at the male's dormitory, Khangchu and the bride with a female member of the family. A.R. Radcliffe-Brown and Daryll Fort write, arranged marriage gives stability and cohesion not only between husband and wife but also between two families. (A.R. Radcliffe-Brown and Daryll Fort (Ed.) : opcit, p.51.) According to Arnold Van Gennep, it is marriage which gives a soul and incorporates him into the clan. (Arnold Van Gennep : opcit, p.133)

Kakhaomei (Marriage of the widow of the deceased brother) : Obtaining a mate by marriage of the widow of his deceased brother is called Kakhaomeoi. (George Peter Murdrock: 1960, Social Structre, Macmillan Company, New York, p.29.) In this type of marriage there are two essential features ie the man should be an unmarried (L. Beals and Harry Hoijer : An Introduction to Anthropology : Macmillan Company, 1953, p.427.) and the woman has not passed the age of child-bearing. (A.R. Radcliffe-Brown, and Daryll Forde, (Ed.) : opcit, p.64.)

Moreover, the man can marry the woman only when the family of the woman gives him permission to do so and such permission may be given after the assign period of mourning of the deceased. (L. Beals and Harry Hoijer : opcit.) The payment of bride price is not involved (Rajat Kanti Das : opcit, p.38.) but in case if the parents of the bride demand, it is permitted by custom to pay half of the girl's price.

Mhairakmei ceremony is observed to recognise them as husband and wife. L.H. Lowie writes, a man's wife is inherited automatically by his brother. (Robert H. Lowei : opcit, p.17.) Only the younger brother of the deceased is applicable in this type of marriage. (George Peter Murdrock : opcit. p.29.) In reverse, she is not allowed to marry her husband's elder brother. (J.H. Hutton : 1969, The Angami Nagas with some notes on Neighbouring Tribes, Oxford University Press, p.224.).

The main idea of this liverate form of marriage is to protect and support to the widow and her children. (Robert H. Lowie: opcit, p.31.) Another idea is that a step father is more likely to have proper affection for his step children if they are the children of his own brother. However, a widow may not wish to marry at al1, and as long as she is fully capable of looking after herself, she can stay at her deceased husband house along with her children or her married sons. Nowadays, such kind of marriage is not encouraged in the society.

To be continued...