The mother I am blessed with: My mother's prayer
Armstrong Pame *
Mothers' Day at Bishnupur organized by Red Shield Division on May 10 2014 :: Pix - TSE
My mom would always express her desire to wear a gold chain whenever she saw other women wearing it. I used to tell her, "mom you need not wear it.keep it simple as you always have been." She said bluntly, "son I have been like this always and wearing a gold chain would not make me different… i also want to try wearing it..orelse I would never have the chance to do so." I agreed to it and today I am gifting her gold chain that costs me a month's salary and I am glad this brings a smile on her face.
Every new day is a better day, because I have areason to do better each day. I am given to think in many more dimensions and beyond myself, because I have been strongly influenced by a person whom I lovingly call'my mother'. She is unique and the only one on earth. No one replaces her and no one can do so because the impact she created within me is so deep that without it I think I would be like a vein without blood. As I write this to pay my best of tributes and my love to my mother, it must be so much for all of you too irrespective of wherever you are and whatever you have been through.
Starting a life from a very remote village, it must have been a tremendously tough journey for my mom to have brought up 7 siblings and to make things worst each one of us felt sick one after the other before we turned 5 years of age. I cannot imagine my mom having to carry each one of us especially me as I was overweight as a child-carrying on her back a kid of over 20-25 kgs and having to walk for over two days to take us to the nearest hospital. It's because of this that I survived the sickness.
Despite my mom having never gone to any formal education she knew what it meant to give good education to all her children. At the end of every academic session she would be the first one to go around asking for old pair of school uniform or text books from others. We would hate her for doing that saying it's so embarrassing and tired of wearing the old ones and using the old text books of others. But she was the one who understood that her kids would be without books or uniform if she didn't bring them, because buying new ones for all of us would be next to impossible.
I cannot remember a house in my colony in Tamenglong where she had not been knocking from door to door for the same. Today as I look back I can only imagine how painful it must have been for her to knock at other's door to seek for the used pair of uniforms and text books. But she did it forgoing all her shame and pain to make sure that we saw the day that we live today.
She was not only a mother who sees the household activities despite her qualification which does not cross beyond the ability to read and write my local dialect, she was always in every way with my dad for almost every work. She would accompany my dad or even go alone to search money for our tuition fees. For the last ten years or so of my father's service I remember she was the only one who went to receive my dad's pay from the house of the cashier as his pay card was held up due to heavy loan he took and that the pay card had to be deposited with the cashier.
Waking up every morning to prepare food for the family, every mother does, but what I found it more in her was the fact that she would have finished praying for the entire family in her over half an hour prayer as soon as we heard the cock-crow before the break of the dawn. As a kid I remember the prayers she fervently said and they went something like this,
"Dear lord I am illiterate unlike other mothers, I am unable to teach my kidstheir lesson, I don't know what discipline is all about, but lord this is my prayer that you teach them everything that is needed for them to grow up as a child after your own heart."
Hearing this prayer while still stuck in our bed, I for particular would always think twice whenever I am tempted to so many things that would hamper me. These prayers have been on my mind since then and have always been and will always be.
The day I stepped inside the UPSC interview room, it seemed I had forgotten even my own name because of nervousness. However, there was just one thing in my mind, "my mom's prayer would accompany and help me sail through." The confidence that I needed to stand up and face those interview board members who were mostly atleast 3 times my age and with so much experiences in life who would have seen me as a kid in their eyes. With this confidence I went on to fetch one of the highest marks in the UPSC interview.
It was not her prayer alone that brought success at the UPSC, whenever there was any exam or test; I would invariably find her fasting and kneeling in prayers for success and good health.
It was on one fatefulnight last year October when I thought my mom would be lost forever. Her care and concern, prayers and love would never be felt again. After dinner I just took off to visit a relative, 15 minutes later I got a call that mom was not well. I ran the best I could as like the day I ran over 40 kms while in 2009 when I heard the news of my dad's death amidst the Himalayan hill ranges.
When I reached home she could no longer talk to us again. I thought we lost her. That night I made a prayer that I was even willing to eat fire and go to any length to get her back. After 4 hours of long struggle she came back to her senses. I remember that night I went inside my vehicle to make a prayer of my lifetime and have never shed so much tears while praying.
I prayed that if I'd be given just one more chance, we'd show her how much we all care and love her. We have done nothing as yet to show how much we owe to her for the mother she has been. No matter what we do, or what we shall continue to strive, it would never come even as close to the love she had shown. But trying each day to complete her day has been the biggest joy of life thus far.
Today as we all celebrate the love of a mother, let us cherish each moment spent with our mother to show how much we do care and loves her. As for me I don't have a father, she is a representative of my dad too and she deserves to be loved doubly. I only wish if I can do anything little better to show how much I do care for her. With each passing day the only thing I can imagine is how and what do I do better to make her happy and gives her the love she so well deserves.
Happy Mother's day to every mother and also to all who are expecting to be soon a mother.
* Armstrong Pame wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer is Joint Secretary(I.A.S) Ta & Hills and PHED, Government of Manipur.
This article was posted on May 11, 2014.
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