Love Vs Money in Relation

Louriyam Bebica *

"Find a hand with whom you wanna grow old
Find a heart with whom you wanna love till your last breath
Find an abode whose pillars will be by his/her love
With the passes of time, your abode might get old
But the pillars will remain strong
Bcoz its nourish by the eternality of love".

If I try to apply this in today's society, people gonna laugh at me and reversed it as
"Find a hand who will give you car to drive
Find a heart which has no feelings but money
Find an abode whose pillars will be by strong irons
With the passes of time, your abode will live in you.
But you will think, you are happy in that concrete world.
Bcoz you no longer feel happy nor love."

Earlier, love was considered another form of worship. Lovers were ready to face the most destructive disaster in their lives for their love ones. Macha ibemma Thoibi went for loithaba for the sake of Khamba. The most beautiful and powerful princess was willing to stumble the thorny paths of life bcoz she was in love. On the other hand, Khamba was willing to go any extent of dangerous deeds for the sake of Thoibi.

The reason behind was simply becoz they were in love. And as per 'their' believe everything was fair in love. Here I had kept the word 'their' within single quote bcoz it was their believe not our's. For us, it's not love that attracts us towards our partners. It is his/her bank balance, the no. of cars, no. of qualification certificates, the professional job's position, blah…blah... It won't be wrong to say that the relation we are having now-a- days is reconciliation/compromise not out of love. It's more like the gifts you give to your partner. Does it mean those people with penniless are unworthy of being in love?

The youngsters are undergoing a conflict zone to decide between love and materialistic world. If you drive an expensive bike you get a beautiful lady to sit at your back. If you walk on your feet no ladies give a sight of you. So, what you are trying is to get an expensive bike and the girls are trying to calculate the price tag of your bike before she says yes to you. The more expensive and latest bike you possessed the more girls reciprocate your love proposals.

It has nothing to do with her feelings for you. They broke the conventional view of falling in love. For them, it is no longer an institute of intuition, it is like a computerized programme where you on the button of love if he is rich, if he is poor you off the button. You can generate another button of shifting your love to another person if he is more richer than your present partner. What do you think? Is there a single hole of love in their relation?

Saying this, it does not canopy only those youngsters. It happens with mature people too. For instance, a doctor will marry a doctor or professor or anyone of his/her level in social position. It is very rare to find someone marrying below his/her status. No one wants to hold the hands of people below their level. So, are you marrying the lady/man or their status? Why is it so? To this some might replied

- We can't communicate if she/he is not of our level.

What does it means? Are those people below your status unable to speak? Do they become deaf and dumb in front of you? Instead, why don't you say you prefer the money and his/her professional/social position to show off?

We are so concerned on society's gossip in reaction to our choice of partner that some fellows even dumped their partners.

- Why did you ditch him/her? Don't you know he/she loves you?

- Yeah, I know. But his/her social position can't be presented to the society. They will laugh at me.

What the hell? Don't you think it is a wonderfully ridiculous expression? Are you getting married to get a chance to tell people or for your own happiness?
The basic question we asked when we meet our friends, relatives or dear one is

- What he/she does? What car he/she owes? How qualified is he/she?

We talked as if the certificates and the money carry the weight of love. The earlier couples who were in love would likely to exchange their conversation as
Lady: Where your love is around me, I will find my heaven. Where your arms are my pillow, I will find my abode. A sip of water from your hand will fill up the emptiness of my stomach of years.

Guy : Your moon like face will show me the light to find the path of our journey.

Whereas our present couples who initially intended to commit suicide to prove love for each other by jumping down from a hillock would communicate like this.

Guy : Ladies first

Lady : No, Gents first

Guy : Ok, Jumping down from that suicide point

Lady : Love is blind. (And she walks out from the spot closing her eyes).

Guy : Love never dies. (Coming up in a parachute)

Here, I've use this satirical joke to analyse how uncertain we are to our partners.

The sense of togetherness is totally absent. Now guys can't find the moon like face to lid the light of love since faces of ladies are covered with powders. Nor the girls find abode under his arms. Earlier guys were soothed by the beauty of their love-ladies and the ladies were captured in men's strong love. So, these two abstract beauty & love can conquered the whole world. This could be the reason behind why Cleopatra let Anthony submit himself and half of his kingdom in her name. Now, there is no 'beauty' nor 'love' in relation.

We can't blame them for this lost of value of love and beauty. Bcoz it is this society that has drawn the people into the materialistic world in such a way that they no longer have heart to feel. Let us take an example from Meitei community's 'marriage' that is considered as an institute of love. Since the day we eloped, we began spending lavishly. It doesn't bother whether you've the money or not. Both the bride and the groom spend in the name of 'chatnabi' (culture). Don't you enlarge your nose, lifting up your head, broadening your shoulder, loaded with pride at the no. of cars you came along on your marriage?. It's just a waste of money.

Instead, why don't you use that money on those needy people if you are desperate to use that amount? It is the same case with the bride too. Marriage is just a social norm of getting permission to live as husband and wife from both the families and the society. There is no need of colouring and dirtying the bond of marriage by creating ladder with unnecessary steps of money's power. That forced us to mistake the worldly joy over eternal peace. We made it (the relation) a commercial system where both the consumer and seller feel no bond of emotion and love. We are simply bound by their commercial rules where we have to give something in return of what we got from our partners. This doesn't come from the sense of belongingness.

Our grandpa often narrated his love story with our granny. He said when he was in love with her even their domestic animals seem so special to him. In a sense, he began to feel special and love everyone and everything associated with granny's life. He said

- I used to loiter around her gate in hope of seeing her. It doesn't matters if the sight is so dwindling that you can hardly identify her. Just the sense of seeing her was everything. There were times I didn't get chance to see her and in this trial of getting nearer to her house their dogs often bark at me. If it was some else's dog then I would have been annoyed. But in her case, even that harsh sound of dog barking melted in a sweet lyrical voice.

That is love. My grandpa loves not only my granny but even that dog who often offended his approach to his lady love. What about us? Could we love his/her dear ones? Forget about dogs, we can't even love his/her sisters, mom, dad, bro. Bcoz we are not together out of love but out of a deal, that stands for financial bridge and social status mark.

The deal between us is so strong that the interference of other (could be your mom, dad, sis, bro or any of your dear one) in our decision making is annoying. It created a cold war especially between the wife and his mom/sisters. Don't end up like Mr. Willonghby of Jane Austen who digs his own disaster by dumping Miss Marianne and marrying Miss Grey. He is the exact replica of present society's couples (both men and women). He represents those men who have to stand the haughtiness of their girl/wife and those ladies who think that happiness is on the seats of cars.

To this people might say, we need money to live of course but we also should not create such a type of world where money began to live on us.

"Don't let money be the centre of being together
That he/she becomes an 'object' like the money itself that has no heart to feel the love"