Light! Camera! Action! I came out from my mother's tummy. Thats
when the story started, the story of a Canadian Born Confused
Who am I? What am I? Where do I belong to? Which culture and
tradition should I follow? What do I call myself? A canadian?
An indian? A meitei or a so called "mayang"? Pheww!!!
For a start, I am a girl with an Indian background, born and
raised in Canada. So....do I call myself a canadian because am
born and raised here? Or do I call myself an Indian because I
have an Indian background? And if i do call myself an Indian,
am I a mayang or a meitei?
My dad is a mayang and mom is a wonderful meitei leima (don't
mind if the word is incorrect). I guess am half meitei and half
mayang. STUCK IN THE MIDDLE HUH!!!. So...should I do both "karwa
chauth" and "ningol chakouba"? Well...some people call me "MDH"
masala and even "chana chur" (not sure about spelling). But hey!!...they
are tasty! (can't leave that part).
As I grew older, I started searching for my true identity. Where
do i actually belong? I can't say Manipur because that is not
quite right. Should I say India? But which part of India? I speak
english just like a Canadian, French...hmm...don't ask, Hindi...i
think am pretty good and Manipuri!!....my Manipuri pronunciation
is really really...good, like the way meitei says "kwa" (pan)
I say it as "kouwa" which sounds like crow in Hindi.
I remember the first time (may be not first time but the one
I remember) I visited india, especially Manipur, a fantastic,
wonderful place. I felt like I'm someone that belong there, which
is not true....I actually couldn't believe it when tears ran
down on my cheeks when I was about to leave such a "babaroma
babalicious" (lovely) place.
For the past few years, I tried to find out more and more about
my roots and the more I came to know, more and more questions
started popping out of my head. I have been searching for the
answers for a loong time and I'll keep searching. Sometimes...I
asked myself, Am I a person that doesn't fit in at all in those
two backgrounds that I have? Well..DUH!!
Many people ask thousands of question about my background and
lot more......well...what can I say? "Oh please!...this poor
girl is suffering from "confusia"..hehehe. Excuse moi! GIMME